Why Plinko hates you.

the life and times of one jaded motherfucker.

E-mail Plinko

Uncle Phil

:.News of the World.:
Washington Post
NY Times
Howard Kurtz
Leonard Pitts
The Onion

:.On Wisconsin.:
Milwaukee J-S
Wheeler Report
Gannett Wisconsin

Penny Arcade


:.Current Book.:
Woman In the Dark - Dashiell Hammett

:.Last 6 Books.:
The Catcher In the Rye - JD Salinger
Grendel - John Gardner
Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha - Roddy Doyle
The Road - Cormac McCarthy
Theft - Peter Carey
Saturday - Ian McEwan

:. Bands .:
Dismemberment Plan
Jets to Brazil
Promise Ring

Mark Helprin
Kazuo Ishiguro
Wilkie Collins
William Faulkner
Philip K. Dick
Dashiell Hammett

The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkien
Frank Herbert
Dan Simmons
The Dark Tower
Stephen King

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Monday, March 31
atom says:
I want an ass full of hot sammiches.
atom says:
Actually, a tummy full would be better.
atom says:
They could move to my ass later.
Ryan says:
Ryan says:
I'm going to go back to poking out the minds eye now
atom says:
Well that's how it works!
atom says:
I didn't design the human body.
Ryan says:
I was complaining about the ass full of sammiches, actually
atom says:
I was just a consultant.
Ryan says:
Ryan says:
so, your like the [spidery lady] now
Ryan says:
Ryan says:
next you'll be writing fan fiction
atom says:
Ack! Not any more, just back then, when the human body was designed.
Ryan says:
then Battlestar Galactica erotic fan fiction
atom says:
Ryan says:
Ryan says:
atom says:
Cylons are kinda hott, though.
Ryan says:
you are a truly frightening person
atom says:

Well, if he doesn't like pork chops, then he must have done it solely out of spite. That's even more reason to be angry.

The Ring is watched. Alone and in the dark and everything. Short of going into some kind of in-depth reviewing, I will say that I was more frightened by Signs, which was also a superior film in most regards.
In either case, I feel fortunate to not be particularly terrfied of bed right now, which is good because it's almost three o' clock in the morning. I am a crazy re-re that will never get used to sleeping at normal hours and will thus get fired at my next job within two weeks and cost somebody a phat bonus check. That is way scarier than murderous art films or aliens any day.

So, now that I feel all tough, I am going to go to curl up in bed and read more about cooking.

Hands off my pork!

Sunday, March 30
Haha. After watching 'Signs' last night I decided it would be wiser to leave 'The Ring' for daylight hours. It appears I have chosen wisely.
Wide-eyed staring actually did not ensue last night, reading a few intrductory chapters on cooking hardware before bed makes for dreams of tasty food and shopping at Williams-Sonoma instead of skeery aliens. Of course, I did have a crazy dream were I got viciously angry at Atom for taking the last pork chop. I don't know if that's a combination of anything or what. As a matter of fact, I don't want to know where that came from at all.

I did a test-run of the soundtracks yesterday morning, seeing how things are coming. The usual suspects, inconsistent volume levels and a jumbled order on the theme disc, that's solvable (now I can sit down and determine an order with that in mind). The fight disc was a disaster, probably caused by a poor burn, it skipped nonstop. I did use the cheep CD-ROMs, which won't happen on when we go gold. Of course, the fight disc is fairly sparse, so it's not like I would have learned much anyway.
If you had to pick a personal theme and fight song, what would they be?
For me it was close between Soul Coughing's Mr. Bitterness and Circles (Remix) for theme. If you know those songs, that's a pretty big disparity in mood. But, there you have it. Plinko is obviously a complicated guy.

Fight song is without question Jawbreaker's Donatello:

When I come to life, gonna suck the air so deep now
That will be my first breath
I'm going to cut my strings and kill the pupeteer now
Then I'll walk on out of here.

Saturday, March 29
Ahh . . . shopping.

I could write for hours about shopping. I think I sleptwalk through Mayfair today, but I could still write a book on it anyway. I think I'll refrain from getting too into detail lest add to the whole orientation thing.
Can't you like shopping and girls these days?

'Signs' took up my evening. As soon as I'm done with this post I'm going to go lie in bed and stare at the ceiling until the sun comes up.

Got the full version.

Love it.
Print it.
Ship it.

The soundtrack is slowly wrapping up. That means we need to get on photography and liner notes soon, I'm looking at you two, UPB and Shirley.

I found a some good choice this morning, Invisible Man (from the Spider Man Soundtrack) by Theory of a Dead Man for Invisible Pete. I also tried out the The Professional by DMX, but the constant use of the word 'nigger' made it seem a little inappropriate (other than that it was nuts-on perfect, actually). I'm trying to find a complete version of Jesus Built my Hotrod for the Reverend, but no dice so far. I know half the people reading this own Psalm 69, but I'm trying to do things my way.
I've heard we are changing Lady a la Mode's songs to Hotel Detective (theme) and Smack my Bitch up (fight). Noted.

Assuming things go well, I won't start any new jobs until a week from Monday, it seems. So, keep that in mind.

Thursday, March 27
Should Plinko's next career move be . . . advice columnist?
You decide!

Names (and other things) changed to protect something.

T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Hey Ryan.
Ryan says:
Ryan says:
what's going on?
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Got a sec?
Ryan says:
for you?
Ryan says:
of course!
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Aw, thanks Ryan.
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Anyway, I've had a terribly... "interesting" evening and I need an outside point of view.
Ryan says:
sure sure
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
But first off, a little warning: I'm unable to read or write.
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
yeah... that... I can't type to save my life
Ryan says:
you seem to be doing adequately
Ryan says:
I am known for terrible typing
Ryan says:
so I won't be judgemental
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Well, this will be interesting to say the least.
Ryan says:
I am the most judgemental person I know
Ryan says:
except about typing
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Looks like I'm in for a fun ride.
Ryan says:
Ryan says:
spit it
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Ok, here's the deal:
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Ok, I worked with this woman.
Ryan says:
sure women
Ryan says:
I've heard of them
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
I know.
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Her name's (girl1)... and I think she's great.
Ryan says:
sure I've heard of such women
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
and we had a grand ol' time .. I've never become friends with anyone faster... after a week, it felt like we knew each other for years
Ryan says:
sure sure
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
So, of course, I develop feelings for her, but since we're working together, I don't say anything
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
(So) I'm back to Milwaukee
Ryan says:
that was then
Ryan says:
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
I talk to her about once a week... she invites me to NY for new year's...
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
(I didn't go... too poor)
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
and we see each other for the first time since when I take her curling
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
yes, the game with the rocks
Ryan says:
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
and I did that to make sure I still have feelings for her...
Ryan says:
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
right stones.
Ryan says:
you'd know if you were from Minnesota
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
I know, I know. I'm bad on terminology too.
Ryan says:
I'll stop teasing
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
That's ok... I need to keep grounded
Ryan says:
Ryan says:
back to curling
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Well, past curling.
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
We have a great time, she asks me when I'm coming back to Beloit, and I decide that the 5th of April sounds good.
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
and that's when I'll let her know how I feel about her.
Ryan says:
such a plan!
Ryan says:
go on
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
so, I'm talking to her and our friend (girl2) on the phone this evening
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
and we're talking about the upcoming visit
Ryan says:
sure sure
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
when (girl2) hints at (girl1) being in a relationship
Ryan says:
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
so, I ask (girl2) about it, and she says that she's been seeing someone for a month.
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
and that someone?
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Ryan says:
Ryan says:
Ryan says:
crazy liberals and their new ideas
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
You're tellin' me.
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
I mean, she was working for Tammy Baldwin's campaign...
Ryan says:
my advice: go Republican
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Ryan says:
damn you for making me agree to not put this on my blog
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
I'm going to start using my middle initial from now on.
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
hahahaha... yep
Ryan says:
which is?
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Ryan says:
Ryan says:
so, at what point do you need my advice on this?
Ryan says:
I have lesbian ex-girlfriends
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Well, there ya go.
Ryan says:
I've never thought about it ahead of time
Ryan says:
two, actually
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
I'm... about 2 hours past the phone conversation.
Ryan says:
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
What exactly am I supposed to do now?
Ryan says:
if this gets pornographic I'm never speaking to you again
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
nonono, that only comes with the story of the girl I dated who sang "The Ewok Song"
Ryan says:
excuse me while I poke out my minds' eye on that one
Ryan says:
you say to yourself 'too bad' and don't call her anymore unless you really want to be friends with a girl you have to hots for that is actually a lesbian
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
See, thank you. That is what I need.
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
That is why I msg'd you
Ryan says:
that's not really much advice
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Ah, the clarity that comes from the brain of Plinko.
Ryan says:
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
Well, it's better than what I got from my friend J:
Ryan says:
which was, 'ask for a threesome'
Ryan says:
that's horrid advice
T. Herman Zwiebel says:

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Christ, dude.
Ryan says:
was he born in the stone age?
T. Herman Zwiebel says:
That's the best I've gotten before you.
Ryan says:
Ryan says:
you need better friends

I guess I didn't jinx it yet.

New news: I lost out on the Credit Union job. Apparently, two whole days is too long to take to decide on accepting a job offer. I guess that validates my decision to not take that job, anyway, since any company that feels the need to hire so impatiently is probably not a compnay for whom I would like to work. Time to call the insurance policy in case the bibs falls through or Krause makes me wait until June. I guess I can always carpool with Mr. Jones …

Well, the phone should be working again in a few minutes. Still no word from the bibs people. The new magazines look generally good, I'm running out of things to do in the office, so it's back to Blogger. Anyone else notice that I seem to be back to 10 or 12 posts a week? Of course, I just jinxed it, didn't I?

It seems excessive sleeping is an epidemic around here. A few weeks ago Rolf was sleeping like 10 or 12 hours a night every day and he didn't know why. Now I'm doing the same thing. This is especially weird for me (as opposed to Beefy, for whom 10 hours of sleep equals restlessness) because I normally sleep 6 hours a night.
Well, by 'normally' I mean I did up until maybe a year ago. I think it's the day shift thing, myself. The earlier I go to bed the more I want to sleep.
Back when I worked third shift, I slept six hours on a good 'night' (of course, by 'night' I mean 'day' but I'm trying not to be confusing) and oftentimes more like four. At the Northwestern I normally slept five to seven, and seven felt like I'd been sleeping for days on end.
So, fast forward to this week and whammo! I fall asleep at 11 and can't get out of bed at 9. What the fuck? I know I'm getting old, but that old? Tuesday night I went to bed at 10:30 and couldn't get out of bed until 9. I find this very disturbing, especially since I might someday have a job that I had to be at by 8 am. There was a time when I went to bed at 9 am every day. If this is my body's way of catching up on missed sleep from years ago, I am seriously fucked for the next 20-odd years.

In other news, I forgot to pay the phone bill and it seems they've cut me off. (Okay, I forget like every month and always pay six weeks late, so this is not without context) So, don't call for a few days while I clear it up. I always get confused because the phone bill is the only one that's due in the middle of the month and it screws me up every time. When I send in the payment I should ask them if they could move my billing cycle to the beginning of the month with every other bill I get. It's gotta be bad business to make people remember to pay bills when they're not writing out all their other bills. Well, maybe it's bad business if I'm your customer, since I forget (or lose) everything anyway.

The new magazines are here and that totally blows me away, since I was faxing back corrected proofs less than 48 hours ago. Our January issue took 17 days to come back from the printer and there weren't any snafus with the files that month. This time they fucked up like three fonts and a picture and we get them in less than seven? Eep.

Still no definitive word on the employment front. I'm pissed about it, yadda yadda yadda. The same old song and dance is getting tiring, heck the same old song and dance about the same old song and dance is getting tiring. I wish I would just stop bringing it up, but for some reason I actually take this seriously. That is in stark contrast to how I feel about everything else in the world, which is a sort of bemused contempt.

Wednesday, March 26
atom says:
Quentin just used the word 'butt-load' on the phone with a customer.
Ryan says:
he's not cut out for work in corporate America, is he?
atom says:
Or IS he?
Ryan says:
something to ponder
atom says:
Or IS it?
Ryan says:
okay, O-P.
atom says:
Huh? Does she do that?
atom says:
I think I saw it on the Simpsons.
Ryan says:
reminds me of the 'in the WORLD' thing
Ryan says:
I saw the Simpsons episode in question
atom says:
Ah. Sure.
Ryan says:
didja look over the state of the soundtrack post on my blog?
atom says:
I think I did, but I was drinking, so I don't remember much.
Ryan says:
right right
Ryan says:
I'm thinking of imposing a deadline
atom says:
I'll see what I can do to help.
Ryan says:
after which I get to pick your songs
atom says:
Deadlines are for assbandits.
Ryan says:
atom says:
atom says:
Ryan says:
okay, Lesbian Pimp

On a completely different note, I have decided to post the current state of the soundtrack for all y'all. I may have missed some, but that's why this is here, for you to remind me.

Main Soundtrack (in no particular order)

1. UPB: Reprehensible, They Might Be Giants
2. Velveteen: Melt!, Siouxie and the Banshees
3. Shirley: A Boy Named Sue, Johnny Cash#
4. Machine: More Human than Human, White Zombie*
5. Invisible Pete: Come Together, the Beatles
6. Lord Sweetness: The Lady is a Tramp, Frank Sinatra
7. Mrs. Jones: Good Girls, Amy Rigby
8. Mr. Jones: Mr. Jones, Talking Heads
9. Monee: Espionage, Green Day
10. Mr. Chan: Take Five, Dave Brubeck Quartet
11. Der Kommissar: Der Kommissar, Die Schneemanner.
12. Reverend: (Personal Jesus, Depeche Mode or Johnny Cash)*#
13. Lady a la Mode: Pussy Control, Prince
14. Mother: (Opportunities, Pet Shop Boys)
Misc: Wild Wild Life, Talking Heads; Steve and Eydie, Black Hole Sun^

Fight Soundtrack (in the same order)
1. UPB: Army of Me, Bjork
2. Velveteen: Southside, Moby featuring Gwen Stefani#
3. Shirley: unknown
4. Machine: Ace of Spades, Motorhead*
5. Invisible Pete: unknown
6. Lord Sweetness: Soon to be Ex-Quaker, Dismemberment Plan
7. Mrs. Jones: unknown
8. Mr. Jones: unknown
9. Monee: Hotel Yorba, the Diff'rent Stripes
10. Mr. Chan: La Pistola y el Corazon, Los Lobos
11. Der Kommissar: Cops on Our Trail, the Raveonettes
12. Reverend, unknown.
13. Lady a la Mode: (She Was a Hotel Detective (reprise), They Might Be Giants)
14. Mother: unknown
Misc: Tomorrow Comes Today, the Gorillaz; 2Wicky, Hoover Phonic; High Noon, Juno.

No information: Mr. Swag, Roy.

Notes: *= I might have these backwards between theme and fight, let me know. #= not sure which version (I prefer the remix of Southside myself and there are about 100 versions of Personal Jesus and A Boy Named Sue to use, () = suggested but not necessarily accepted, ^= I'm having trouble getting this.

In other news, I'm supposed to have my job situation clear up today. I'm not too optimisitic. But keep your fingers crossed.

Tuesday, March 25
Okay, okay, so the following post is an overly-intellectual diatribe. Deal. Sometimes I can be like that.
If you want a what-does-this-mean-in-real-life version, here you go:
I got a job offer that I don't necessarily want to take and I won't know until tomorrow at the earliest about the job I do want to take. The whole thing is making me tired.

And my list is up to three people. Maybe I'll post it if I can get it up to a repsectable five or something.

So, the employment dance is really really starting to get on my nerves. It seems that there are only three types of jobs out there, those for which I am dramatically unqualified for, mediocre-to-lousy paying jobs for which I am dramatically overqualified for and well-paying jobs that are a logical next career step. The trouble with that last part is that those jobs seems to be more phantasm than reality. Sure, I've got people falling all over themselves to pay me less than the sum of my monthly bills to work for them, but the jobs I actually want seem to have an ephemeral quality, as if they might disappear at any time.
Now, that is not to say I won't still be getting the job I have been banking on for a few weeks now. Just that what seems a sure thing one minute becomes a tenuous possibility the next. I'm sick and tired of maybes and somedays from companies that say 'we like you and want to hire you.' Why is it that just one of these jobs for which the interviewers themselves say I am overqualified doesn't pay a reasonable wage? I'd be perfectly willing to overlook the simplicity of their positions if I could feed myself on their job offers.
I hate to be dour (this is a lie), but the whole job/candidate search process baffles me. The concept of human resources has always seemed to me to be a shaky concept. Not so much that such departments and functions are not vitally important to doing business, but that they seem to have a sort of schizophrenia about what they exist to do.
Do they exist as literal embodiments of their titles, as the managers of a commodity no matter how human it may be? Or do they treat with people, understanding that they are treating with real humans with whom they must have a mutually-beneficial relationship, whom they must accept fully as people in every decision they choose?
I do not see this as a cold-hearted, good-or-evil pair of opposed forces. I am prepared to deal fairly and honestly with either camp, if only I could divine which one is at hand.
If I must view my efforts only as a commodity, selling my work to whomever makes the fairest offer, then I can and will do so. I would gladly enter a marketplace, confident of the value of my labor and cut a deal as strongly in my favor as I could.
If, on the other hand, they are looking for a person, making judgements about working relationships based on less-tangible qualities and feelings, then I can do that, too. I can talk the human side, talk about what will fulfill, talk about what I want to do in the future, how I work with others. I can understand that the employment process is complicated, that it's not mercenary or cold. That we are looking for commitment and attitude and complexity.
What I can't do is try to know when to do one or the other. I am baffled because in the employment situation, work is treated as a commodity while attempting to inject as much human nature as possible. Costs of both the tanglible and intangible variety are calculated versus expected benefits, but that is not all that is decided, as they try to put as personable a face on things as possible.
I guess in a way, it's a nice gesture.
I find it endlessly frustrating.
The denizens of 'HR' don't know how to talk to a applicants and candidates because they don't know if they're supposed to treat them like people or like commodity brokers. While it would be easy to take a slightly Scott Adams-esque view of things and say that they are purely commodity traders who feel pressed to pretend that they think of you as a human being. I don't think that's the case because of two reasons, that many people I know in HR are actually pretty swell people and the at-will employment law.
Because of at-will employment, either the employer or employee can end the employment relationship at any time. There is little contractual nature to employment. As commoditized as one's labor is, it isn't to the point where the entire relationship can be considered a matter of a business contract. If it were, I could reasonably call employer 'A' and tell them that for x dollars they could have me as a dedicated, faithful employee. I could tell employer 'B' that for x-y dollars, they'd have to wait a while for me to check other bids.
But, alas, displaying such a mercenary attitude about one's own labor is generally taboo with the HR types. Even the real labor-as-commodity brokers - the temporary, recruiting or staffing agencies - know that their customers (lazy HR departments) cannot or will not accept such a way of thinking, even though dealing with such an agency is a part of being in the commodity camp. So we employment seekers are left, continually without honest answers, not knowing in which terms we should be dealing with our prospective employers.

Monday, March 24
Maybe it's a little optimism creeping back, but I feel like my posts lately have fallen back into the more fun mode that they did seven or ten months ago. That, or I'm just so entranced by Corocoro Kururin.

I had yet another job interview today, this time to be the marketer for a Credit Union in Fond du Lac. It seems like the right kind of job for me, if a little lower-paying than what I'm hoping for from some slow-acting companies I could name.

I'd like to be more amusing, but my eyes are beginning to glaze over as I am bored out of my skull, doing laundry at my parents' house. It's amazing how unexcited you can be with two televisions blaring (everyone in my family seems to be deaf) and my crazed cat racing around like a freak. Oh well, you'll forgive me this time, won't you?

Sunday, March 23
The latest advice I have received from that cute lil' hamster:

If you gain support from certain people, you will gain your self-confidence back. You will be able to overcome mistakes that you have made in the past. You should not avoid responsibility if you come across a dilemma.

I'd love your support, folks! And I'll be wearing colored t-shirts and using lots of 'W' words to enhance my luck.
Being superstitious is fun!

Who needs to know HTML when you can steal? Making things work by editing my template in Notepad has made things easier, to be certain. And now, you can conveniently check your Sanrio horoscope by clicking on Capricorn Kururin in the menu area at your left.
Just check out mine for the week that's about to end:
"You will find yourself in good luck this week. You guess you will lose something but actually you will achieve what you deserve. A sudden and important job request will allow you to get out of a banquet which you have been dreading to go. Changing your wallet may increase your wealth luck."
Hot damn! Too bad I wsn't offered a job in time to get out of schmoozing entirely last week, and I was totally thinking of buying a new wallet. Maybe they mean that last week I could look forward to all this fortune next week.

I don't care if some people deny it, there were witnesses, we all saw it.
Tonight is the last hockey lesson. They're making it sound like the ice sheet will close in April, but I haven't seen anything definitive yet. They might have some open hockey or something until the last week, or maybe they'll keep it open. Who knows?

So, I better start a job soon, because I'm really itching to spend money on things. It's not April 1 yet, so I might still make my get-a-job-by-this-day-or-I'm-applying-at-US-Bank goal.
The above means, of course, that today I went out and did buy some things. Possibly unnecessary things. Socks, mostly. And some shirts. And Girl-Scout cookies.
Of course, I only classify socks as 'unnecessary' because you probably would say they are. As far as I'm concerned, I really needed several new pairs.

Am I materialistic? I guess so, since I think I spent almost as much time today listing things I wanted to purchase (new pants, new shoes, new tv, new computer, 13" All-Clad saute pan, new place to live, pills to stop the the voices) as somone has spent listing famous people she'd do it with. Not that my such list would be short, either. I just get that deer-in-headlights look when I have to narrow it to just five (which I don't, but then I don't need a list, either, by that logic).

I went out for dinner and a drink and some chatting with my pal Sara. She's totally in for prom, as long as one of the ho-jillion weddings she and her hubby are going to this summer aren't the same weekend. We also sat around and watched Trading Spaces and What Not to Wear. I would so dress crappier if it would get me on that show. Heck I'd totally pay someone a quarter to nominate me.

Though I would have trouble on two points:
1. I could never take serious fashion advice from someone with hair like Wayne Lukas. Eep. He dresses oddly, too.
2. Hyper-critical, tough-love talk is funny when it happens to other people, not so much when it happens to you.

I think the whole reason Sara and I watched the show so intently is because we liked watching someone properly berating for dressing like a go-tard. Or, for any stupid reason, because we are mean, condescending little bitches.
Seriously though, I know people that need that show way more than me, but I wouldn't trust them to do any good with the five grand, either. Plus, they seem to get off on criticizing rural states, which doesnt sit well with we Wisconsin-born.

The greatest band in the world is still breaking up. The tour isn't set yet, but I plan on road-tripping to go to as many shows as I can, using vacation time if necessary. Who's with me?

Okay, I can't believe I'm still up at 2:30. I'm old, and out of things to say.
This blog will self-destruct in five seconds.

Friday, March 21

Thursday, March 20
Okay, so maybe I've fixed the tracker. Of course, I did it by blowing up the whole thing and starting over, which doesn't explain what went wrong in the first place.

Still no official word on when, if at all, I'm getting that fancy new job. Don't worry, I won't let that keep me from making ham.
I have another bitchy story about ad design, but after typing to Miss Velveteen on MSN tonight, I realize that it's just too long and convoluted for telling it here to be worthwhile. Maybe I'll tell you in person, if you're lucky.

I have cleaning to do.

Tuesday, March 18
So, I'm confident enough now that I will have a real job next week that I can say this without fearing the terrible jinx: I will soon be working for real again.

Of course, as I write this, I am just getting ready to pack up and go home after a brisk 14-hour day at the magazine. Perhaps I should rephrase: soon I'll be getting paid again!

I was ready to go off on another diatribe about so-called 'graphic artists' that don't know how to export their goddamn files to the specifications of their clients and vendors. But, to be frank, I'm tired of thinking about the whole sorry situation. Suffice to say I will pray for their doom. Now I'm going to head home and lie down for a while.

Saturday, March 15
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
the cops have wooden legs
the bulldogs all have rubber teeth
the hens lay soft-boiled eggs
the brakemen all have to tip their hats
And the railroad bulls are blind
there's a lake of stew
and whiskey too
you can paddle all around it in a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

Too bad Lord Sweetness is not a hobo, because I'd have a theme song picked out already. . .

I found some interesting things while I searched the Uberweb for more theme songs, including a Royal Crown Revue version of Beyond the Sea that might just be right for Lord Sweetness.
Sometimes I love having projects.

M. Doughty and his friends in BT are correct, she is never gonna come back down.

Once again the weather outside is so gorgeous that I can't believe I'm sitting inside the office typing away. I would love to tell you all about the vile hatefulness in my heart for a number of different things, but I don't feel like it. Not because I'm in such a good mood, but just out of respect for your sorry ass. I figure you're enjoying yourself, you don't need me bringing you down.
Or, maybe you do? Who knows? You are here, and I know none of you are dumb enough to come here expecting puppies and babies week. Maybe, like me, you are all masochists, too.

The soundtrack project is starting to come together somewhat now. I will do everything I can to keep this project from sitting on the burner for a year or two, like some others I could mention. The prom is an idea that keeps getting better and better every time we talk about it as well.

And don't think I'm all hopeful right now because of the rumored good news. I am cynical and angry and I don't have a hopeful bone in my body and if you think otheriwse you can just eat a big bowl of fuckso there!

Ahh, nonsensical high-school insults! How much you amuse me and befuddle my enemies!

Friday, March 14
Sure I hate you, but it's not like you really care, right?

Lovely weather has a way of brightening my mood.
Too bad for you I'm stuck in the basement office here, type-typing away all day instead of enjoying a few moments enjoying some sunshine and above-freezing temperatures. It looks like I'll be spending my weekend here as well, working. Don't pretend to pity me, I can hear you snickering all the while.

In a fit of inspiration last night I went shopping for some books to enrich my person.
Then I left the porn shop. (zing!)

Kidding, of course. I have access to the biggest repository of pron ever imagined, the Uberweb! I actually went out to buy some books to expand my knowledge of the computer programs I use to do my work. Of course, I stupidly am not really applying for many jobs in the same field, but you never know.
I really, really want to rant about politics or war or something, but I just don't have the werewithal to repeat the obvious and readily available sentiments, or to attempt to refute the delusions of the nearly-as-prevalent masses of morons that populate our fine nation.
So, instead, I focus my attention on my beloved Senators and pray that the whiny Leafs suffer a humiliating and early playoff exit. I realize that half the people that look at this site are probably perplexed at that statement. Well, I feel sorry for you chumps.

Wednesday, March 12
So, there might be bands that I might like out there. Damned if they're easy to come by. Anyway. Since we're (read: I'm bitching at you to) thinking about their soundtracks, maybe getting your mind on music will help a bit. If nothing else, I can pimp The Jealous Sound, who are good and will have a real album someday of their very own.

whatever I do, whatever I say
to make you feel better
every hour of every day
it's all I ever.

I should have some seriously funny shtuff to talk about tonight, so be there or be square, as it were. I'll go into detail later. For now, I'll be a tease.

You know you like it.

Monday, March 3
Just a few things for your pleasure.

The web site of the business was hacked at some point yesterday or today. I blame our fuckstick of a web guy, but I don't really have a say in these decisions. With any luck, someone will fix it today yet.

Freelancer is a fun game. I'm having enjoying it, though the game delivers only a tiny fraction of the depth they promised when the game was in development, or even that they promise in the literature, for that matter. There's something to be said for those games where a bunch of people can hop on and collect money and loot and chat all night, with no pressing obligation to be there at any given time or to be on the ball constantly.

I scored my second scrim goal last night, I guess the key is to not have Hazaert around. That and crash the net. I can be more proud of this one as I scored off a pass instead of a rebound.

I'm sure there are other, important things to talk about. Like perpetual casino agreements or war or the next episode of '24' but you don't come here to see me talk about things that matter, do you?

Oh, and I would prefer if people e-mail me regarding soundtrack issues, I have a horrible memory and a known problem keeping track of physical objects.

Saturday, March 1
I'm busy, leave me alone.

New issue of the magazine showed up Thursday, and it looks pretty nice. I'm proud of this one, unlike certain other issues I could mention. . .
I'm sure I have lots of things I should be talking about, but before I get to that, I have a new project. We need to work on the bad-guys soundtrack. What I need from you is your pieces of music. Every bad guy should have two, a theme song and a fight song. Choose carefully! The theme song is your music, the sound that plays every time you walk into a room. You fight song should be what comes on during crunch time (not everyone's a fighter!). If you need help, consult UPB, who has a fair stable of good ideas in his head. Remember, it's not your favorite songs (sounds like a different song), but the one's that fit your bad guy persona. E-mail link is at your left, use it wisely my children. I'll be putting it together once everyone's in.

I'm jetting off to Green Bay to watch a college hockey game soon. Woo! Hockey! I feel broken after an especially late night. I hope I can stand up for real hockey tomorrow. The Business Challenge was fun this morning, I just worked as an expert adviser and helped teams all day rather than advising a team myself. It was more fun, but I wasn't eligible for any prizes this way. I did score two Symphony tickets anyway and a little batch of OSO discounts at area eateries, which is nice. Now I need to find some cultured girl to take with.
Okay, not really. I'm sticking to my pledge of 'no girls until I get a job.' Honest.

Oh, don't act surprised, it's not like it'll be a challenge, like me pledging to not score three goals in a game at hockey, ain't happening whether I want it to or not.
Ah, rides here. Later, chump-os.