Why Plinko hates you.

the life and times of one jaded motherfucker.

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Uncle Phil

:.News of the World.:
Washington Post
NY Times
Howard Kurtz
Leonard Pitts
The Onion

:.On Wisconsin.:
Milwaukee J-S
Wheeler Report
Gannett Wisconsin

Penny Arcade


:.Current Book.:
Woman In the Dark - Dashiell Hammett

:.Last 6 Books.:
The Catcher In the Rye - JD Salinger
Grendel - John Gardner
Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha - Roddy Doyle
The Road - Cormac McCarthy
Theft - Peter Carey
Saturday - Ian McEwan

:. Bands .:
Dismemberment Plan
Jets to Brazil
Promise Ring

Mark Helprin
Kazuo Ishiguro
Wilkie Collins
William Faulkner
Philip K. Dick
Dashiell Hammett

The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkien
Frank Herbert
Dan Simmons
The Dark Tower
Stephen King

02/01/2001 - 03/01/2001 03/01/2001 - 04/01/2001 04/01/2001 - 05/01/2001 05/01/2001 - 06/01/2001 06/01/2001 - 07/01/2001 07/01/2001 - 08/01/2001 08/01/2001 - 09/01/2001 09/01/2001 - 10/01/2001 10/01/2001 - 11/01/2001 11/01/2001 - 12/01/2001 12/01/2001 - 01/01/2002 01/01/2002 - 02/01/2002 02/01/2002 - 03/01/2002 03/01/2002 - 04/01/2002 04/01/2002 - 05/01/2002 05/01/2002 - 06/01/2002 06/01/2002 - 07/01/2002 07/01/2002 - 08/01/2002 08/01/2002 - 09/01/2002 09/01/2002 - 10/01/2002 10/01/2002 - 11/01/2002 11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002 12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003 01/01/2003 - 02/01/2003 02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003 03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003 04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003 05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003 06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003 07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003 08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
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Monday, December 30
My parents got me a new bozoputer for Christmas! Hott!

This is now officially in the running for the best Christmas/birthday ever. I was just telling my pal Sara that birthdays start to suck after 22, but maybe it's time to rethink that.

Well, I guess my dinner at Fratello's sucked rocks, but other than that it's been great, really. Anyway, I've got lots of nerding out to do. It's almost time for us to toss out the 2002 in favor of a fresher, more exciting year. I'm sure I'll see you then.

It's my birthday
It's today
It's my birthday so why aren't you lunging at me?


It's my birthday, say 'happy birthday' to me

Anyone who catches the second reference gets a cookie (hint: it's on a shirt).

Anyway, Now that I'm 26 I'm going to work on my marketing pamphlet for the mag. Yes, I am going to put in a full day of the work at the office.
I've celebrated enough lately, and they were all fun celebrations, mind you. I got tons of uber-cool presents for both Mr. Jones' birthday and my own. I also have the best friends in the world. Ones who I can laugh with about me as well as anyone. Even being half-drunk at Perkins talking to one of my former students with a bow on my head.

Anyway, since I am not the only dust my mother raised, I am going to eat dinner with the parents tonight, let them spend some more time with O-P. I think I'm hungry already.

Friday, December 27
"I never felt like this before
I say that every hour."
-Jawbreaker, Ache

I feel much better today. The bathroom is almost clean again, without even a herculean effort. now I just need to teach someone how to flush and things will be peachy.
I think I feel better because I already got a callback from B'Gosh just a few hours after submitting my resume. It looks like they think highly of some very nice person we all love. That, or unlike every other place I've applied, they liked my resume.

Positive sign #1 (besides that they called): They asked for my salary requirements, because they were worried they couldn't afford me. 'Natch.

Anyway, I've got to get going. I've blogged enough in the last 24 hours.

Well, the plumber's are here and they've made a disgusting mess of my bathroom. Guess how I'll be spending my Friday night?
It appears, at least, that we'll be under control soon enough, though, which is good. I can take comfort in that the bill for this work will probably eat the entire rent increase I'm facing to renew until June. After that, I am definitely looking for a new place. One with a decent stove and new plumbing, I hope!

Who's in a crabby mood?
This guy.

Well, I was having an alright time, until I noticed tonight that the shower drain was clogged and had backed up. So, I went to Pick n Save and picked up some Liquid Plum'r. I am tired, so I'm not going into details, but it hasn't worked, and anything in my house that drains water has backed up on me tonight, which means no using the toilet or showering until its fixed. I'll call the landlord in the morning.
I also looked at the new lease terms he wants me to sign on for. A $19/month increase (plus $10 for the garage) to sign on for six months! I am sorely tempted to tell him to take a flying leap. I'm paying too much for this place as it is. If I were in a better financial position, I'd tell him that if he fixed a short list of things and kept my rent the same, I'd stay, if not, I'll start looking for a new place when he gives the word. As it is, I'm considering my options, which are few and far between.
But, alas, money isn't something I possess. I got panicky tonight and did a bunch of stuff to further my job search. I am considering asking my parents to front me some money and outright quitting the magazine so I can focus on job hunting full-time. I don't know if that will do me good or ill, though. I applied for two jobs tonight in my panic mode, and also worked on my portfolio, which I need to send to Green Bay tomorrow. I'll also apply at B'Gosh, but now I am too loopy to do anymore without risking sounding like a goof in whatever I write. I wish I could wave a magic wand and get a decent job, but we all know that doesn't work. Sure does suck, though.

Thursday, December 26
Well, Christmas is come and gone, sadly. I enjoyed it, as I have many a Christmas past. Too bad it couldn't go longer, or that I couldn't see more of my friends on it.
Once again, my family went overboard with the present buying. So, I have some out well this year once again. I'm wearing a new pair of pants and a new sweater right now, as a matter of fact. But, the crowning achievement so far is my new black pea coat, courtesy of my mother. If you give me a quarter I'll do my sailor dance for you.

Anyway, now it's time to prepare for the birthdays! Happy day-after-your-birthday Mr. Jones!
I guess it's Denny's instead of The P this time, since someone foolishly decided to scare us off from the P by booking a couple of lousy bands to play. Now, I am pretty cool with the East Side, but it just occurred to me now that we probably (maybe, am I making this up here?) won't be able to have Raspberry Kamikazes at the East Side. Just a thought. . . Maybe we could buy Denny a bottle of Raspberry Stolley or something. . .
Sadly, none of us won the $315-million Powerball jackpot. I don't know this because I opened all the remaining cards (I left them untouched), but because I read this morning that someone in W.Va. bought the ticket. While I have recently been to W.Va., I most certainly did not buy any lottery tickets there, so poor folk we all remain.

Lastly, it's been a month for me and the autobot today. If I'm good, maybe she'll take me out to dinner.

Monday, December 23
I wanted to hop into a game quick, since I haven't gotten much 'gamming' time lately. But, the forces that be elected to not allow it, so here I am, blogging.
It's almost Christmas, and I am finished shopping. That may not sound amazing to you, but consider that when I left work at 1:30 this afternoon, I had yet to begin shopping, I think you will be impressed with my skillz.

So far I have been graced with a new left blade for the hockey stick, thanks to Barren, another set of hockey lessons, thanks to O-P, some cute green socks, again thanks to O-P, and a set of cute Hello Kitty dishware from little Zebby. An excellent set of presents, if I may say so.

Now, if there's something I wanted to bitch about lately, it's came to me Sunday during the Packer game. The CBS NFL football anchors, announcers and commentators must be the worst set of television broadcasters ever assembled. We Packer fans can count our lucky stars that our beloved team plays in the NFC, and thus we are spared the horror of games called by those assclowns at least 14 games a season. You know they must be horrid if they make me long to listen to the intelligent banter of the Howie Longs and Chris Collinsworths of FOX. It's nearly Tuesday and I'm still groused by the broadcast, which was poo.

Anyway, I am very tired, since I slept a mere three hours this morning. Deadline does that to me occasionally. But, Issue 7 went to play with the printers this afternoon, and I can relax a bit for a few days.

Christmas is nearly upon us. A merry one to all.

Saturday, December 21
Sorry if I scared/offended anyone with my comments from Thursday.

Anyway, I'm plugging away at work here this afternoon, and it's actually going quite quickly. I'll likely still miss all or part of FoTR this afternoon though, very disappointing!

Anyway, I am in the market for a new job. Sean and I have talked about it and it might well be best for both the magazine and me if I left for a new job. I can still help him out, reducing costs for putting the magazine out and finally be able to pay all my bills. We'll see, it can take a looong time to find a new job, and I can't start hardcore until issue 7 is off to the printers, which will probably be Monday.

In other news, I still haven't started Christmas shopping yet. I haven't been playing much in the way of games easier. Just lots of work and Bordello Battles. Yes, I am a dork. But I love you, too.

Thursday, December 19
If there's one thing I can say about the last, say, year-and-a-half, it's been that things in my life have changed at a relatively rapid rate. To say that my life would be all but unrecongizable to a me from a year or two ago, much less three or four years ago, would be a vast understatement. I guess I don't see any reason to reverse the trend.

You've all listened to me whine about money quite a bit over the last six months or so. well, the time has come to change that. And, while two months ago that might have meant leaving my friends and family behind, rest assured that no matter what I do, I'm not going to leave the area now. O-P is just too darn cool, though I could care less about the rest of you jokers (*wink*).

Tuesday, December 17
Interesting review of The Two Towers in the Washington Post this morning. It comes from someone who has obivously never read the books and is far from a fantasy/sci-fi geek, but he loves the movie. Albeit for some oddball reasons and with some bizarre observations.
Sometimes, he's right on, like his criticism of Elijah Woods one-trick acting style, but on other issues he seems to have a truly odd perspective. And I hope he doesn't have his heart set on seeing Sauron again, since he never appears in any of the books and getting a few seconds of him in FoTR is more than I expected. But really, the success or failure of these movies depend on people who haven't read the books going out and enjoying them. Not to jump to stereotypes, but if this guy, who has a sort of foppish gay-hairdresser style to his writing (check his complaints on the lack of good hair, you're all smart enough to see what's wrong with that complaint), is enthralled, then the movies have more pull than the fulfillment of fanboy wishes. And to me, that's great.
I apparently have a midnight ticket, thanks to Bob, whom I have hardly seen the last few months. And while I will surely pay for it in the morning, I can't wait.
OP is gonna brave the film tomorrow night, which will be odd because she's never even seen the first movie. I'm not sure she even knows what its about. But our intrepid pal at the Post has shown that this movie series ain't just for geeks.
Or, rather, it finds the geek in everyone.

More fun state cities/villages/towns from the state Department of Financial Institutions:

Gays Mills
Lake Nebagamon

Monday, December 16
Atom says Blogger doesn't work. I don't believe him.

Sunday, December 15
So, I'm here at work on a Sunday, doing some typing and putzing around with some ideas. I should be making cookies, but the office move has put us a bit behind our normal schedule of getting things done.
The mini-shoot was yesterday and it was not so exciting. I say that mainly because it was just plain too small to get anything going. At a big TBCS, there are usually at least four games of anything going on at once that you can play. At a little event, there's barely enough people to play one game. And, since most people there are whiny bitches (how I got stuck with the moniker is beyond me, since everyone that goes turns into a simpering sack the whole time they game) as much time is spent arguing about what to play as is spent actually playing the games. That whips up into a lot of time spent putzing around with ten people yelling at once about what game they (don't) want to play. Once we got some N-S and Battlefield going, it was pretty fun, or it was as long as those games lasted. I will say that M-P Goat Recon sucked, but I missed Raven Shield while I was at dinner, so I can't pass judgement.

Anyway, I got up this morning with an itch to play N-S with people that had played before, so I hopped online. Now, finding a decent N-S server is hard. That's because there aren't many of them, all of them either completely full or totally empty. Furthermore, people hop in and out of games far less than other games, meaning spots open up at a very slow pace. I spent maybe ten minutes getting into CHI only to have the game lock up three minutes into the game, lockup, reboot, wheee. So, I looked around for another server, since I didn't feel like waiting ten more minutes just to play. Got in another server, same thing happens. The machine hung refreshing the server list. Reboot. Ran scandisk and reinstalled N-S. Joined a game, three minutes in, blue screen memory dump. Joy.
So, I cracked open the case, and replaced the oldest RAM chip with a 256 stick I had lying around, booted up, and everything seems fine now. Of course, now I just jinxed it. Sigh. I know something was wrong with the RAM, as replacing a 128 chip with a 256 chip somehow made the system think I was running 768MB RAM, up from it thinking I had 384MB, despite the fact that there was 640MB worth of chips installed. Yeah. I don't want to keep thinking about it, either.

In other news, O-P is almost back from her weekend in sunny California. I'm possibly more jealous that she's getting to eat at In-N-Out Burger more than that she's enjoying temperatures above 40. Back to hockey tonight as well. And if the Packers lose today I'm probably going to be sick.

Thursday, December 12
Mmmm. . . Koreana.

That's all.

Wednesday, December 11
So, my last post was so long and involved, I figured I needed a few days off.
Or I'm just really lazy, you be the judge.

Really, I've been rather busy with the office move and all. It's finally done. We got phone and Internet access today after the carpet was installed yesterday. I've even gotten some work done at my desk already. But now I'm home, with a couple of things to take care of before (or after) a disco nap.

Sunday, December 8
So, I dug the PlayStation out of ther closet last night. I've had a deep-down urge to play Puzzle Fighter lately, and now I've finally gotten down to it. O-P and I played five rounds after coming home from some art and some beer and some Target. I will tell you right now that my winning streak has begun, and I have no intention of ever allowing it to end.
I have, on previous occasions, explained to the lovely Miss Velveteen a bit about about my generally secret test for determining whether or not I will be attracted to a given female human being. While I don't feel like divulging any more at this time (you all need to think I have some mystery about me), add a desire to play Puzzle Fighter to the list right now.
Of course, I am a competitive bastard. I always always always play to win at every game. Be it sports or cards or video games, I hate to lose. That goes a long way toward explaining why I am a whiny bitch at the LAN party, because I can't stand people who aren't playing to win. Since we're generally playing team games which have a distinct winner and loser, I get very attuned to my team and their chances of winning. I worry about my own individual score much less than whether or not the team is going to come out on top.
In some games, Natural Selection and Day of Defeat come to mind, I actually place a premium on negative scores when determining value to the team. In those games, where unlimited re-spawning makes the 'death' of your character a temporary state, there's nothing more satisfying than seeing a great quantity of deaths in your score. To me, and most players with a keen sense of what determines winners and losers in the war-of-attrition games like N-S and DoD, the games are won out of sheer aggressiveness, which means you run out, do damage, and get killed. Repeat. The value in that lies more in chaos than actual gain of territory or points or flags or kills or whatever it is that wins the game for you because you keep the other team off balance, you let them take nothing for granted, and therefore keep them from cobbling together any kind of efficient strategy.
People that fail to grasp that simple truth are, in my eyes, drooling morons. Those who brag about a personal score of 7-1 on a losing team full of players who go 21-35 are not just missing the point, but also probably hold the lion share of the blame for the team's loss, despite their pathetic, idiotic bragadiccio. The fact is, if you're not dying, then you're not engaged, and a player who's not engaged is no kind of player at all. Sitting around, picking off the occasional loner or wounded duck is commendable at some level, but it is certainly not an individual strategy that lends itself to winning by any stretch.
Anyway, back on track to my talk about competiveness. O-P and I played five rounds of Puzzle Fighter, and I managed to win all of them. We were both rusty at first, but as the games wore on, I started to win more handily. O-P actually demanded several rematches when she should have been going home due to the lateness. After I had won again, she thanked me for not letting her win. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a priceless virtue. It's worth so much that I can't put a value on it. I just about asked her to marry me on the spot (Thankfully I didn't, she probably would have slugged me and never spoken to me again, but, you know).
Anyway, on to other - somewhat related - subjects.
I can't find my PS memory card, and the suckiness of that is twofold. The first suck is that I lost all my Puzzle Fighter goodies, secret characters and options, and most of all, the sound test, not to mention all my saves for other games I might want to now break out. The second order of suck is that I can't even save the stuff I do now until either find my card or buy a new one.
For all my bragging, I was reminded about how vulnerable my dominance at Puzzle Fighter is. Sure, I got better at beating a partially-blind young woman who han't played the game in as many years as I had been away from it, but I know I can be had, easily. You see, and fie on the games programmers for not having an option to alter this, I have a natural disability when playing Puzzle Fighter, my color blindness. It's not as bad as it sounds, really. I mean red is red and blue is blue (and if anyone brings up that asinine 'well how do you know that the red you see is the same red we all see' bullshit I will break your fucking nose next chance I get) but the yellow and green might as well be the same color to me. Okay, that's an exaggeration, I can tell them apart by staring carefully at them for a second or two, then I can get it right about 90 percent of the time. Now, in a game of speed and reflexes, needing to stare at your blocks for a second or two half the time is a fairly serious disadvantage, not to mention the potential disaster that comes with the other ten percent of the time. If only Capcom's programmers had had the wisdom to allow you to have some choice in the block colors (they all follow the same shape theme), I would call it the perfect video game. As it is, someone with tactics and speed close to my own at the game would probably win quite often, since they could exploit my weakess easily. Ah well, perfection is not yet mine.
You already knew that.
On the subject of not-video-games, I have been graced with a chance to purchase, at face-value, a ticket to tonight's football game pitting the Minnesota Vikings against my beloved Green Bay Packers. So, I'll miss you all at the Robin's Nest or Krause home, depending on your desire for cartoons or football. As it is, I'm off to visit with my parents, hand off my brother's Bud Light birthday present, and get my resume together.
Take care, folks.

Friday, December 6
So, sometimes I'm not a procrastinator. Like tonight where I, so worried about having too much to do at once when people were here, decided instead to do so much in advance that I've left myself with very little to do over the last 90 minutes or so and nothing to do until people get here. So, as long as I'm sitting here, why not blog?

First off, I'm very hungry. Waiting until 8 or so to eat usually does that to me unless I eat lunch late, which I did not do today. Other than that, I was mostly worky today, with a little cooking and cleaning thrown in for good measure.
I was going to mention a lovely piece of writing about the famed Army-Navy game this weekend, but the ever-vigilant IP beat me to it. So, without that, I feel pretty useless. Don't worry, I'm sure the feeling will be remedied once my house is full of dinner guests.

So, I realize that I have totally fallen behind in the Christmas race. I've bought a sum total of nothing. Heck, I never even forwarded my list to my own family. I guess all this focus on work and a pretty girl has taken my mind from where it usually is this time of year, buying presents. I expect I can remedy the situation a bit this weekend by visiting the parents and doing some shopping. Other than that, I got nothing. Chump-os.

Blah blah blah. I've been so busy lately I don't know if I'm coming or going. As usual, I'm annoyed at people who don't return phone calls. But I've made some progress on my big story (and hardly thought about the other one). Issue 6 is here, and has been since Wednesday, but I've had my mind on other things too much to really say anything.

I'm sure there are lots of things I could be talking about, but instead I'm going to run out and ingratiate myself to some advertisers and then do an interview. I'll have tasty food ready around 8 tonight for those that have answered the call. As for the rest of you, suck it.

Thursday, December 5
Sean is out of town for four days, which means I must endeavor to be a good little worker for the next few days. I missed my brother's birthday yesterday becuase of the busy-ness, so I need to pick something up for him today and drop it off at the 'rents.
Being extra worky won't be all that tough, since I have piles of interviews to do. As much as I hate the thought of connecting stories to advertising, all these big companies better come through with big ads, I know their pockets are more than deep, their annual marketing budgets for the region dwarf our target annual sales for cripes sake. If they don't come through, it's gonna be one sorry Christmas around here.
On a happier note, I suck worse at running that I thought I did. The desert-dry air inside the soccer arena didn't help, for sure, but I guess I need to do exercises other than skating a little more often. That said, Barren and I are going skating this morning for a while.
My garage is well behind the expected completion date of Monday. The walls still aren't up yet, even. And my landlord never called me back about what terms I'm staying here on. Experience tells me that landlords would rather have an apartment sit empty than compromise on terms of renewal with their tenants. But as long as he doesn't serve me any papers, I get to coast on the old (already too-high) rent. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Wednesday, December 4
Stupid assy blogger.

Tuesday, December 3
I'd like to complain about the state of our office, but considering that its free (apart from the $700 or so we're spending on carpet -another complaint) I don't want to invest the time in whining just yet. I will say that the floor seems to actually create dust as fast as I could possibly sweep it away. Once the carpeting is in, we should no longer have that problem.
Other than a ton of work, it looks like my new task will be to develop a list. See, I never felt the need to have a list, since I didn't have anyone to justify any illicit affairs to. Now that I do have someone who could be offended, I'll need to work out my exemptions. You know, just in case. On a related note, I'll have to see if I can get permission to remain in the cabana-boy business. I'm guessing no, but it never hurts to try.
The response to the potential for dinner Friday has been underwhelming at best. I think Mrs. Jones requested Beef Stroganov as a dish, and I'm perfectly willing to oblige that. I can oblige as many as 10 people for that for a measly $4 each (I need to buy a bottle of white wine for it). Anyway, if you're in let me know via e-mail or in person. You know how to find me.

Monday, December 2
Whew. What a weekend. The eating, the moving, the O-P, the Packers, the hockey and the cartoons. And now that it's over, I'm staring right at another workweek.

I think I'm slowly getting better at the skating, especially since Barren got me to tape my skates, which gave me a lot more stability. But it would help if I could find someone to go with me sometime to skate on days other than Sunday (hint hint). I also should buy new breezers and a new (lefty) stick, if I decide I can part with $50. We'll see how sales go at the magazine.
There's no class this coming Sunday (reminder to me), so I suppose I'd better get out there, eh? That and I'm probably playing soccer Wednesday with a guy or two from the hockey class, apparently their rec team is usually short and I kinda miss playing sports I'm actually good at.

I'm serious about big dinner Friday at my place. We could have spaghetti or a nice roast beef and potatoes or fish (love the fish). It doesn't matter what it is, it'd be a heckuva lot cheaper than going out to eat, which I've been doing way too much of lately, not to mention fun for me, since I like to cook. Of course, I could have always stayed home and cooked for myself . . . I guess. But it's really all about the time spent with friends, right?