Why Plinko hates you.

the life and times of one jaded motherfucker.

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:.Blogs.:
Atom
Auntie
Pyro
Velveteen
Irrelevance
Uncle Phil
Barren
Dusto
Dasco

:.News of the World.:
Washington Post
NY Times
Howard Kurtz
Leonard Pitts
The Onion
ESPN
Hockey

:.On Wisconsin.:
Milwaukee J-S
WSJ
Wheeler Report
Gannett Wisconsin
15%

:.Geekery.:
Penny Arcade
PvP
TBCS
Spidergoat
MFH
Minum


:.Lists.:

:.Current Book.:
Woman In the Dark - Dashiell Hammett

:.Last 6 Books.:
The Catcher In the Rye - JD Salinger
Grendel - John Gardner
Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha - Roddy Doyle
The Road - Cormac McCarthy
Theft - Peter Carey
Saturday - Ian McEwan

:. Bands .:
Dismemberment Plan
Jawbreaker
Jets to Brazil
Knapsack
Promise Ring
Descendents


:.Authors.:
Mark Helprin
Kazuo Ishiguro
Wilkie Collins
William Faulkner
Philip K. Dick
Dashiell Hammett


:.Series.:
The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkien
Dune
Frank Herbert
Hyperion
Dan Simmons
The Dark Tower
Stephen King

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Thursday, October 31
 
I should have noted that if anyone else wants to go skating Saturday, let me know. I have skates, but they rent them at the Y.


 
Well, I know it's Halloween and all, but I had planned on being away from home practicing my skating skills tonight. Unfortunately, the Y doesn't have any skating on Thursday nights. Now I might have to go into the first day of hockey lessons without having been on skates in a freakin' year unless Barren and I can find time to go Saturday, and I assume he's going to be busy that day.
Anyway, so now there are kids ringing my doorbell looking for handouts, and I've got nothing, since, as I said, I was planning on being gone. I guess I'll just run off to Target and get the last little bits for my costume before tomorrow as soon as I'm done eating these fish sticks.


 
Happy Halloween, kiddies!

I went to the grocery store today and spent all the money I didn't have on tasty tasty foods. Since I've been on an entertaining binge, I bought stuff to make a few dinners for which I wouldn't mind some company. There'll be chili, beef stew & dumplings and caribbean pork tenderloins at various times over the next couple of weeks. Mmm! Interested parties should e-mail me to share in the food wealth.
Issue #5 looks pretty good. Our ads are still a little grey, but I guess that's to be expected. Tomorrow I get to interview the president of the state AFL-CIO about their health care proposal for the state. I think it'll be exciting.
Other than that, I'm getting geared up for fairy-night Friday. I can't believe I'm dressing up like this for a concert. I hope everyone else has some bitchin' costumes as well. I think Hello Kitty is going to stay home, though. She doesn't seem to match all that well with it. Ah well, she is still pretty danged cute in that devil get-up.
See, I'm doing well getting the mental part of my costume down!


Wednesday, October 30
 
Ask, and thou shall receive, they say. Well, Issue #5 is finished, in record time at that. We asked them to do everything to ensure we got to people by next Monday, because of the elections and we got it. Now I just pray that they didn't mess up anything like they did last time.
I'm crabby, sure. But not for any specific reason at the moment. I'm sure you can handle it.


Tuesday, October 29
 
So, I'm bored. I need a part-time job to fill some of my evenings so my brain doesn't melt from staring at the monitor all day. Of course, if you believe the newspaper, there are about three places in all of Northeast Wisconsin are hiring and they're all Gannett. I find that hard to believe, especially with the holiday season coming up.

So, I wonder how places find their workers. Maybe they put up signs asking people to apply, or maybe they just hope people will ask for applications, whether they are hiring or not. I strongly suspect that most human resources people are morons. That's not much of an indictment, coming from me, since I know that most people are at least morons, if not outright imbeciles. That might explain why they (human resources people) are always complaining that they have trouble finding competent people to work, because they're too stupid to realize (1) that most people are stupid, and so without herculean recruiting efforts most people they hire will also be stupid and (2) that they don't have a clue about recruiting employees.

I know some of my friends can attest to these facts. As a person in business that hangs on occasion with other folks in business, I often hear them complain about how hard it is to get decent workers, yet I personally know a lot of (non-moron) people looking very hard for work, or even extra work. The reason they don't find each other? Because the folks doing the hiring haven't the faintest clue about how to find workers. I'm not saying I have some magic clue about how they ought to do it (though advertising their jobs might be a start), but that doesn't mean I have any qualms about ripping on them for sucking at it themselves.

I'll tell you, the first thing I would do is get rid of qualifications. Everyone knows that job ads invent some crazy, unnatainable criteria for applicants. Despite that, they still scare away plenty of job applicants. In my experience, the requested qualifications rarely have much to do with what a person actually does at their job, while they never think to look for people that know how to do the things that a particular job actually does. Furthermore, it seems silly to put so much value on experience, because that only means that a person has been lucky enough to keep a crappy job just long enough to try to apply for a better one. Chances are, if they were stuck at that crappy job that long, they were probably too lousy at it for the company to want to keep them or jump ship to a new job. And the last dig on qualifications are that you probably need to completely retrain them anyway, so why not start fresh versus having to force someone to unlearn ways of doing things.

I'm sure I could go on, but this is already getting way longer than I should devote to such a minor subject. That, and I probably should make some dinner.


Monday, October 28
 
Yeah, I'm actually working a lot today, in case you were wondering.
I'm also adding a new link in the 'news' set over there to the left, which probably exists entirely for my benefit and interests no one else. But just in case, I'll bring it to your attention anyway. Miami Herald columnist Leonard Pitts, who in my mind is the best news columnist in the country. He runs weekly at my former employer, but runs almost daily in the Herald, so now I can read what the man has to say every day if I feel like it. He wrote a great series of columns after Sept. 11, for which he should have won a Pulitzer prize but didn't. So nyaaah on the Pulitzer board.

Other than that, I've got nothing. Be good, kiddies.


 
Morning already. Sigh.

The extra hour was nice this weekend, though an extra day or two might have been better. The Milwaukee Art Museum was pretty swank. I also enjoyed the shopping and the clubbing, even though I am not much of a clubber, as it were.
Shopping was tiring. For some reason my legs were not in the mood to walk, so I was mostly dizzy the whole time. I did find a uber-cute Hello Kitty doll where she's dressed as a little devil. I'm using it as part of my Halloween costume.

Anyway, now it's back to work-work-work!


Friday, October 25
 
Humorus item(s) of the day. The name of some Wisconsin towns and villages. I'm sure every state has all sorts of oddball towns. I though it was too easy (and there were too many) to include towns with obviously American Indian in origin names, no matter how funny towns like Wonewac and Winong sound. So, after another afternoon paring through the monthly list of incorportations (that's right I was doing work)released by the state Department of Finanical Institutions, here are some that caught my eye and were ambiguously Western in origin.

Spooner
Fontana
Hubertus
Hustisford
Athelstane
Chili
Ogdensburg
Oostburg
Prairie Farm
Ettrick
Balsam Lake
Arpin
Poynette
Rewey
Random Lake
Trego
Dyckesville
Middle Inlet
and my favorite: Upper Middle Inlet.

I'm officially signed up and everything for hockey lessons. They start next Sunday night. Wish me luck!


Thursday, October 24
 
I obviously don't use the word 'Morrowind' often enough. See, if I did, I'd bet I'd get dozens of hits a week from asshats looking to turn their Morrowind character into a vampire or something.

Really, I just wanted to use the word 'asshat.' It's funny. Not as funny as muppetfucker or even go-tard, but still funny.
Other funny words: skivvies, chump and lackluster.

You may now go about your daily business.


Wednesday, October 23
 
Well, I made the little change I've been meaning to make for a couple of months.
Now that that's done, maybe I'll consider returning the much-beloved feature of laziest SOB. You know, to keep all y'all motivated.
I'm finally caught up on the 80s, or at least as much as I was assigned. I also finally saw Monsters Inc., thanks to the Jones'.

So, if I'm going to sign up for hockey skating lessons, I s'pose I'll need to head out to the Y and brush up on my basic skating again. I don't want to suck so badly they kick me out of the class. I'll find out the schedule and if anyone wants to go, I'll gladly lace up my skates during open skate. It'll be just like middle school, only on ice. And no air hockey tables.

I want to rant badly about video game journalism and how much it sucks, but I don't feel motivated enough. Suck it. I'm going shopping in Chicago this weekend, so nyaaaah!


 
I got nothing today, really.
But tonight there'll be dinner and movie-watching, which should prove to be fun. And, of course, I'm still looking forward to the weekend. I'm not even crabby about anything to fuel a tirade of some sort for your reading pleasure. So, go about your business.


Tuesday, October 22
 
No longer shirking. Now I can just sit and worry like a paranoid fr00t.


 
I'm posting because I'm shirking what I'm supposed to be doing. Of course, what I'm shirking is also something I can't post about, lest I jinx it. Since I'm not fooling anyone about what I mean by that, does that make it pointless? Am I still jinxing things? I can't even tell anymore.
At any rate, I have to go get some work done soon. Yes, even the day after an issue leaves for the printer I have work to do.


Monday, October 21
 
It's getting to be a long day at work. Thankfully, I'm almost done. Actually, since I've been dallying with work in between sentences, I'm actually done now. Go me! I think I'll head home soon.

Take care, kiddies. Maybe I'll post again from home.


 
It's snowing.
But not sticking.

Pfffffft.


 
Not a bad day. A little drinking, a little Packer victory, a little Adult Swim. There should be more days like today.
Now, tomorrow will be a bitch because we've got magazine to finish, but then after that I can try to catch up on the cleaning. As for now, I need to finish watching some 80s, so as to improve my connection to my own generation, as they say.
Did I mention I was excited about this weekend? I might have, but I'm just being sure.


Saturday, October 19
 
I found most of my Halloween costume last night. I haven't dressed up for the coolest of holidays since I was like 13, so I expect some other people to follow suit. Stupid Thursday Halloween means it's not going to be easy to go out and celebrate it, either.
I'm supposed to be at work now, but, fortunately for me, Sean is a little behind in his stories, which leaves me with a little time to make a frozen pizza and blog for your entertainment a bit before I head off.
This should prove to be a very exciting week, starting with going to tomorrow's Packers game. It will be my fourth Packers game and just my third time at Lambeau Field. Too bad more of you don't appreciate how cool this is going to be. After working a lot on Monday and (I hope) getting issue five off to Action, my week will be a little slower at work, which should make up for a very very hectic last two weeks. With any luck I'll be able to relax a bit. Then Saturday I'm jetting off to see the Da Vinci (liars) exhibit at the Milwaukee Museum of Art, from there heading to Chicago for a little dancing and then Christmas shopping Sunday. It's all very exciting, trust me.

You know, they don't sell Hello Kitty underwear in a size even a waif like me could wear. So disappointing …


Friday, October 18
 
I love lunch.

But I still hate you.


Thursday, October 17
 
I am the biggest procrastinator I know. Well, I mean the biggest one who usually gets things done on time.

I sat down just now and counted my soap operas, and there are like six I can think of right now, which is six more than I'm used to having. Fortunately (sorta) they mostly involve me listening to my friends' drama and pretending to give them advice rather than real problems in my life. So I can continue to focus on working hard and possibly blogging about being dirt poor.
I don't do soap operas real well, mostly because my passive-agressive, avoid-conflict nature keeps me out of long-running feuds and relationships with the opposite sex, which is where most of that crap originates. But it doesn't shield all my friends from them, by any stretch.
And somehow I stupidly earned a reputation as a good listener. Oh well, at least I love gossip.

I don't feel like writing a lot more. I guess my friends wouldn't appreciate me airing their dirty laundry here. They hate it enough when I talk about my own problems when their names come up with it. I will say this, that my evil, evil ex- still hasn't ended her reign of terror on some of my friends, who certainly don't deserve it. If there was anyone that deserves an old fashioned Oshkosh pound-downding, it's her. If I ever run into her at the P again, I'll be sure to point Mrs. Jones to her and then quietly walk away.
Good time for a Jawbreaker song, Sluttering (May 4th). Except for the having kids part, it works pretty well in for half of the drama I'm thinking of, though I'm never in the 'I' or 'you' position, thank god.

Flattered that you think I warrant ugliness.
Gutters drain west, mud made a mess of us.
It's time to leave this place.
I'd saw through your wrist to find a better trap that fits.
I'd saw through your traps to find a better you.
A part of you that lasts.
I saw through your trap and into my own wrists.
Saw we were through, red ribbons spill to blue: a sight to sore your eyes.

I got this dress. I'm hiking it around this waste of laughter.
Slow dance alone with no one to the sound of four hands clapping.
Congratulations to you both, I hope you're happy.
If there's a moral to this story then I wish you'd show me.

Hair in the blood, fly in the disappointment.
Rubber, I'm glue. I'll write the book on you. It's sticking to my face.
You need a little less than what you take for granted.
This is the sip that's drinking back from you, blacking out your eyes.

You need a little more suppression of your appetites.
This is your honeymoon, in separate rooms, it's neither sweet nor bright.

I made a word to give this state a name, this game a guess.
I call it "sluttering." It means as little as your little test.
You are your worst revenge.
Your very means, they have no ends.
This is a story you won't tell the kids we'll never have.
If you hear this song a hundred times it still won't be enough.
If you hear this song a hundred times it still won't be enough.
If you hear this song a hundred times it still won't be enough.
If you hear this song a hundred times it still won't be enough.


 
Well well well. Looks who's back home again. I actually tried to publish a bit on Tuesday night, but Blogger in all it's wisdom, saw fit to suck ass that night, so I couldn't. Of course, last night was volleyball and I decided to get a little drunk afterwards, you know because I could.
I would really like to sit down and provide you with a novella on what the last, say, week has been like for me. I could bitch about an array of stupidities and annoyancies and et ceteras that may or may not quench your thirst for my bitterness.
Let me say these short, possibly enticing things that could possbily make you even more curious about the goings-on in my life than you already obviously are! Letsee. . .

TBCS was fun, but I missed most of it.

I still 'got it' in the cooking department, but it remains to be seen if I still 'gots it' in the cleaning department.

You all know that I am hyper, and that hyperactivity leads me to have absolutely zero tolerance for slowness. If you slow me down in any fashion, fie on you! Now, that doesn't seem like much of an insult, but if it were like three-hundred years ago, you would be wetting your breeches if I said shit like that.

I want desperately to post about something, but I refuse to jinx it this time.

I might be back from all the conferences and expos and whatnot, but I will still be extremely busy over the next four or five days. I am supposed to go to the Packer game during that span, and I will be mightily disappointed if I have to cough up my tickets to get the magazine out.

Soylent green?
It's peoples!


Monday, October 14
 
It's cold. And I've been busy. We're heading off to Milwaukee soon to learn more about the economy and such. I have stuff to report, but I'm too cold and/or too much in a hurry to tell you about it. I hope you all hold up well without my daily ramblings to keep you company.

Tschuss.


Thursday, October 10
 
I must be getting distinctly less interesting, as this site's page views are down quite a bit lately. I suppose I've been chipper, and perhaps many have grown tired of it. Of course, I'm no longer getting my site hit six times a day from old Mr. Vader, who apparently grew bored with pissing people off and took his site down.

Anyway, maybe I'll contemplate some sort of scandal for your entertainment. Maybe some sort of spree of violence or inappropriate sexual escapades to titillate the masses.

Who am I kidding? I'm not going to do either of those things. You come here for the bitterness, which has been a little sparse lately. Well, I'll work on that. I was totally crabby the other day and everything. But I don't think I found the time to post during the bitchy spell. Missed opportunities …

I'm sure next week I'll be as crabby as they come, considering the things I gotta do that I mentioned earlier today. For now, I probably should check in on the boys and their TBCS video sooner or later. And then I have a story to work on. You know, for my job.


 
Is it the weekend yet? Still, no? Suck.

I've been lazy on the finding a second job front. Heck, I haven't even mentioned it lately around here. I've got some cooking to do soon (as in tomorrow), which is always nice. I'm still trying to catch up on the 80s so that my friends don't tease me so much about my youth.
I won't be around much early next week, as I'm going to the Wisconsin Economic Summitt Monday and Tuesday. Then Wednesday I've got the Fond du Lac Business & Industry Expo, which managed to get the magazine's name wrong …
I don't think the Expo will put the last week of volleyball in danger, but I'm still hoping for snow.

There's been tattoo talk lately, and in order to make up for my lousy art skills, you can find my dream design right here. I shouldn't have to say this, because you're all smarter than that, but if anybody says anything about the 'variation on the swastika' I'm going kick them in their mommy parts. If I were ambitious, I'd track down the other one I want, but I probably ought to get back to work.


Wednesday, October 9
 
Volleyball aggravated my sore shoulder, but probably not as much as tackling Mrs. Jones afterward. . .

Other than that I got nothing.


Tuesday, October 8
 
Somehow, DerK must have been getting my e-mail.


 
Is it the weekend yet?

Man, my back is sore from not sleeping enough. I hate the way you suddenly get reminders that you're getting old. And, of course, there's this silly notion about that I don't work much. I guess I've perpetuated that idea. Well, let me tell you now, I do actually work, I just get to decide when. I only wish I got to decide how much money I make.
And those of you thinking to yourselves 'well, Mr. Plinko, you could sell more and thusly earn more' can just go right to heck.

I had something to say, but Mr. a.Lo started bothering me with party-talk, so I got distracted. Back to work.
Really.


 
I was so totally going to post yesterday, but the stupid football game got in the way. Oh well, at least the Packers won, handily I might add.

I shouldn't be here now, because I have to crawl out of bed very early for sales club tomorrow morning. Of course, when I say early, I mean 6:45, so I'm sure there won't be too many tears shed for ol' Mr. Plinko.
I'm thinking strongly about taking hockey lessons at the Y. Being a big NHL fan as I purport to be, I guess it would be cool if I could skate decently. Of course, I'm already practically broken in the shoulders department. It's not fun getting old.


Sunday, October 6
 
Okay, so I'm impulsive. I bought 5 tickets to to see the Dismemberment Plan on Wednesday, November 20, at the Modjeska in Milwaukee. The official Plan site didn't list that as a show, though since it's the day between shows in Minneapolis and Chicago and they didn't list the date as a day off (as they do for other open dates on the tour) it makes sense to me. But the Modjeska's site is broken, so I feel slightly afraid, even if I bought the tickets off the DmP's official site. I know at least four people that would go, plus tickets were $10 plus a measly $1.25 fee, thank god for no Ticketmaster!
Now I can sit around and pray for the Jawbreaker reunion tour that Blake hinted about a few times a year and a half ago …


Saturday, October 5
 
I'm trying to get over my crabby mood. I'll keep you posted on my progress. I can now be excited about seeing the Dismemberment Plan sometime soon. They're playing a First Avenue in Minneapolis on Monday, November 18 and the Metro in Chicago on Thursday the 21st. I've skipped a few chances to go see them before, but I'm tired of playing with fire on that one, since I've skipped shows in the past, figuring I'd get another chance later, only to have the band break up before that chance ever made itself apparent. I'm looking at some of you very strongly here, I know you want to go!

Confidential to Velveteen:
They curse the Oh my, so me (I must obtain my reimbursement of all those ants who I burned myself with a magnifying glass like boy.) Therefore, Friday decided to do a little that cooked in the house. The marinated chicken special, just nothing, cupcakes and pudín are compressed. Therefore, I finished cleaning upon the kitchen and made it was only a home. My boy was in the work and the roommate did not come to house by several hours. He had the house everything stops an amount of considerable time, so I did what yep would make any person in my position.... No imagination needed there. Yes, so five minutes inside (what it takes to more than five minutes), my to burn itself of the beginning of the pieces. Cripes, I obtained a little juice of the jalapeno that I did not wash completely of my hands in a place very near and loved me. Therefore, attempt not to make case that of him the thought STD-like burning itself would happen, but it didn't- finishes keeping marinating more far. After first rasgón rolls under my cheek, I work to the sink and beginning to sprinkle the water in me. Nothing is happening, so characteristic my clothes dull and I work in the shower, but my shower had let work the day before. (showerhead flew dull and struck the roomie in the posteriora part of the head, thus cutting all the water.) Well, he was desperate that would obtain to a certain class of acid burn stranger, so it took showerhead and it behind obstructed it on the pipe, swearing who if she did not work would tear the accessory outside the wall. Well, I fixed the shower with my attacks of the completely to bodywash smooth adrenalin and emmersed, and finish of I hope the pain to stop, but not almost as quickly as it would have hoped. Left everything is a lesson to you. Cooking is the devil.


Friday, October 4
 
Yeah, I'm good at jinxing things (I got cancelled).
Good thing I have such wonderful friends to make up for it!


 
It is froaking dark outside, looks like it's almost sundown. I love rain, but not as much as thunderstorms, which put me right to sleep. I guess that it's good that it isn't a thunderstorm, since I would be sleeping instead of getting work done right now.
The business schmoozing last night was not so hot, mainly because it was outside and there was a cold wind that made me shiver. But when I went to watch volleyball, the wind was more or less gone (and I was in multi-layered warmth) so that was actually just fine.

I'm going to have dinner tonight with Sara and probably a girl for whom I've had the hotts for, let's say, two years who is now basically single for the first time that I've known her. I'll have to see how well I can clean up. The razor is coming out, we'll see what damage I can do to my new 'russian mafia' look.
Of course, I just jinxed it completely by posting about it now.


Thursday, October 3
 
Edited, for her pleasure.

atom says:
Plus, Quentin and Mark are going duck hunting this weekend, so there's some sort of work that needs to be does this evening to make that happen.
And now, I am alone. They are off on errands and such.
atom says:
So now I'm taking off my pants.
Ryan says:
Like buying lady duck decoys with cheap makeup and low-cut dresses to attract the drunken male ducks on the way home from the bar?
atom says:
Those drunk ducks are good eatin'.
Ryan says:
Big pants-less Atom!
Ryan says:
MMMMMMMm foie gras!
atom says:
I have a tiny gourd that looks like a pumpkin sitting on my monitor.
atom says:
I am very festive.
Ryan says:
I'll knock your gourd right off, mister
Ryan says:
What did you do for lunch?
atom says:
Went to Cub Foods and got a 7 layer salad and a little microwave thing.
atom says:
And a gourd.
Ryan says:
of course you did.


 
So, color me stupid.
I'm going to hang with my dear married pal Sara tonight. I'm going to start things off by hanging out at her volleyball game tonight. At Terri's. At 8 p.m. Go me. I'm hoping I can bring a little bit of my forfeit luck with me. I'm looking forward to some good gossip, anyway, which I will have plenty of opportunity for afterwards.

Not much else in news. I finally started using my new mouse yesterday (I had been holding out hope that I could somehow beat the old one into submission, but not such luck).

If there's one thing I like, it's a tight mouse.
Rawr.


Wednesday, October 2
 
Somehow, I managed to get a lot of work done today, and even more coming up tomorrow.
Tomorrow also happens to be the next Business After Hours, which will be my first bearded public function. Neat!

I need to relax badly, I've been spending too much time out of the house for any reason I could think of. Tonight I'm going to curl up with a little House: Corrino and hope tomorrow I'm calmed down a bit.

Life has been a whirlwind lately. Every few months I notice how much different my life is than the previous few months. I guess that's evolving, or something. I want to turn that into something meaningful, but I think you can live without it.


Tuesday, October 1
 
Ahhh. . . laundry time. hanging out at the parents' house (they're away on a bizarre trek up and down the East Coast), putzing on the computer, admiring my cat and eating their (my parents' not the cat's) food. Speaking of cats, Nico sounds a little too much like Neko for my tastes, missy.
I rented Brotherhood of the Wolf, and I'm going to sit down and watch it directly. I also am admiring my brother's new toy, a Winchester 70 and a new Burris scope. I know I'm too liberal to like guns, but I guess I have plenty of incongruencies so one more won't hurt. I'm going to try to watch Gilmore Girls, but I have to play Counter-Strike at 8, so I might miss most of it. Back with the affection for violence.
I'm sure I'll be a horrible conservative person when I get old.
Oh well, thank goodness for my extreme youthfulness.


 
Issue 4 just came back from the printers, which is about three days earlier than I expected, and I'm not complaining.
It seems like I just picked up the third issue a week ago (in fact it was a little over three weeks).

I can no longer ignore the gi-normous pile of laundry which is taking over my bedroom, but first I need to head through the Southern Time Warp (that's US Highway 41 from Oshkosh to Fond du Lac) so that I can interview a subject from 1997, which is the current year as reckoned by the Fond du Lac calendar.

I'm wearing my favorite pants.

Yes, I have a pair of pants designated as my favorite.
And yes, some of the others are jealous.