Why Plinko hates you.

the life and times of one jaded motherfucker.

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Uncle Phil

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Friday, June 28
Well, I want to go back in there and clean up that monster of a post, but I figure most people that read the site will ask me about the pieces of the trip and/or the wedding which interest them when I run into them at some time or another, so why bother?

I'm going to go see Minority Report soon, but I wanted to say that you don't find my site by searching for *someone*'s name on Google any longer, which explains why the rash of those hits has ended, thankfully. In a sick sort of way, I'm tempted to keep using it just to see if anyone ever mentions it to her, that they saw it. I have my sources that would let me know. Hilarity could possibly ensue.

Oh, and here's the cautious distancing of myself from previous comments:
I don't want to sound like I'm harping on Dave and/or Gina about their wedding. I had a very good time, I just didn't like the service provided by some people.
That and I'm a jaded motherfucker, as they say.

So I'm back. I hope you're happy.

I wish that I had found the time to post Friday night after the wedding, mainly because now I have a ton of stuff to write about, since it's been almost a whole week since I last graced you with my schtick. But, to entice you to read all the way through I did brig pictures, so you can have something to click on while you read.

Let me start off by getting ahead of myself.
I am sunburned and it makes me crabby.

But that all comes after Dave's wedding, so I'll get to that first. I don't want to get too nasty here, since Dave does, you know, read this site and all, so I'll keep it short …
Well, actually, I already called the SWEF and talked about the wedding stuff, so I can edit myself here. I hated the place from which our tuxedos were rented, I can't believe I paid $130 for them to refuse to give me a coat that fit. If any of you decide to get married and then decide to rent your wedding party's tuxedos at Today's Bridal Boutique I will laugh at you. If you then proceed to ask me to be in your wedding party I will shoot you.

Anyway, the ceremony was incredibly short, like 118 seconds or something and that was kinda odd, but it meant I had that much less time fidgeting in front of thirty or so people (an odd combination of Gina's and Dave's families and former Target employees) so I won't complain. And what was really odd was that Dave's church wouldn't allow any instrumental music, and by instrumental I mean if it had an instrument playing, it was the devil's music and not to be allowed in their holy place of worship.

So after the short ceremony, Dave (shown here eating so you know the difference between him and Dave) and I got lost on the way to the reception because we received the shittiest directions, ever. But once we got there the crab dip was good, so there's that. The place made the wedding party pay for their drinks (including the bride and groom which is completely asinine) and the caterer started serving dinner while the wedding party was posing for photos and signing their marriage certificate and nowhere near the tables.

So let me say this, I love Dave and Gina (and I hope they're having a good time on the Isles) but I will take down the names of everyone who provided any paid service for their wedding and loudly advise anyone I know planning a wedding to never ever ever patronize their services because they sucked at it. Of course, Dave and Gina are too nice and quiet to give them an earful, but I would have actually beaten some of these people if they'd been screwing around for my wedding.
Which is another reason I'm not married.

Then I went out to P's, since the whole sordid affair was over by 9.

That next morning I woke up really early to leave for West Virginia with my Dad and brother. And it wasn't very long before I remembered why it is I don't go anywhere with my Dad, he has about ten incredibly annoying habits which drive me insane. The worst of which are that he snores louder than anyone I know, is the most horrible backseat driver ever and also talks to everyone as if they were six. By that I mean he doesn't engage anyone in actual conversation but merely speaks at them in very loud and simple sentences without expectation of an answer. Even questions are intoned as declarative sentences, so people's general response is sort of a fake laugh and an 'oh yeah?' to everything he says, sort of how you talk to a mildly retarded twelve-year-old who wants to tell you about his baseball card collection. I spent my vacation, thus, mainly on doing three things, drying myself off, wincing in pain from my sunburn and suppressing the urge to gun my father down every time he talked. Despite that, I managed to have a generally good time.

Mostly the vacation was nice, even if we had to take the drive down there over two days, despite the fact that it's only a 13 hour drive to Oak Hill, WVA, from Oshburg. we stayed at a Holiday Inn outside Cincinatti on Saturday night.

We got to our place on Sunday and had nothing to do all day, so we had a few beers and I made salmon steaks, which isn't easy on one of those park grills. You know what I'm talking about.

The next two days were mostly comprimised of getting up early and going rafting. I wish I had taken more pictures, but falling out of the boat onto rocks and whitewater doesn't really mix with my digital camera, so I didn't bring it on the actual rafting trips.

The first day we went down the New River, which was cool. We did that in a 14-foot raft that held seven people and a guide. We got paired with a nice family from Ohio and the daughter was very very cute, so I had a good time on that alone. The only person who ever fell out of the boat was the guide. She was very cool, so that day was pretty cool. The water was very nice and warm. You actually could swim through some of the wussier rapids, and I did. I also jumped off a boulder which rose 25 feet above the water and into the river, which was fun. We ended up under the New River Gorge bridge, which is in a lot of commercials because it's so high up.
The downer was that my knees got sunburned, bad. You see, when you sit, your shorts ride up and so I took a heck of a lot of ole Johnny Sunshine on my knees, and white water rafting doesn't let you really keep reapplying the old SPF 35 very much.
So that sucked.

The next day we went down the Gauley river in what are apparently called "Duckies" but looked suspicously like inflatable kayaks to me. The water was extremely low, so it was difficult to navigate the rapids safely. Fortunately the guides baby you through everything. I saw a ton of people fall out, hit rocks or generally act stupidly, but I never fell out or turned over.
That's because I rule.
There were a ton of go-tards on the Gauley trip who annoyed me to no end. Not the least of which were two 13-year-old boys and a half-retarded teenager who couldn't paddle at all and looked like a taller version of Tattoo from Fantasy Island.

Despite my efforts to keep as much lotion on as possible I got even more sunburned that day. I still hurt and on top of that there were no cute girls on the second day trip so it sucked even more.

The third day we went on an ATV trip in the mountains and that was kinda cool. I thought that it was awful slow on the flat parts, but there were times when we were on trails so rough and steep that you had to ride the brake the whole way down or you'd roll over. In our group that day were three Philadelphia city police officers and two of their girlfriends. They were all very big and very black. They seemed to have a good time, even though one of the women freaked out at one point and refused to go down a very steep slope.
That was only a half day so I drove around (in the car) and read the rest of the day.

I bitched enough that eventually my Dad relented and allowed us to make the drive home in one trip. I didn't feel like wasting another day just because he was too pussy to sit in the car for thirteen hours in one sitting instead of two. That would have been fine except that due to some highway closures and rampant stupdity it took us three and a half hours to get through the 50 miles from the end of I-65 (just outside Gary, IN) to the Wisconsin border.

Now I'm home again and I won't even have missed a Friday night at the P. Sorry that I wasn't out there exposing Bubbapalooza, Craig, but it's not like everyone doesn't know what really goes on there anyway.

That said, I added another blog to the list at left. This one is that of Gary Ross, a former Target co-woker and techie guy. I know A-Lo knows him. He collects Vader stuff and yells at me when I diss Macs.

I would like to say a lot more. After all, I have a week's worth of bitching to catch up on. But this post is already unmanageable, so I'll leave you, for now.

Friday, June 21
Amazingly, the hits on the site have been way up lately, but it turns out that its because Zebby hits the site constantly.

So much bitching, so little time.

Anyway, Dave's wedding is tonight. Thankfully, it will be on the low-key side, I think, which means I don't need to get too worked up about it. I am worried about my vacation, as I have a lot to do yet to get ready and very little time to do it.

I also have to get some work done today, which sort of upsets me. I have stuff to do today that can't be done later, and I'll be unable to work for the next ten days, so any prep work I do will be pointless.

Let me say this, and I've thought about it a lot lately, that the thing that pisses me of the second-most (right after stupidity, which is why I hate everyone) in the world is slowness; or lack of speed and/or efficiency, if you will. Nothing drives me crazier than people who can't do something with some effort to do it quickly and well right away. I hate people who dawdle, fumble or delay in any situation. I hate it even more when people say 'oh, it'll just take a minute,' when it will really take ten, or forty, and then proceed to do that over and over again ad nauseum about everything. So that what was promised to be a total of, say, ten-and-a-half minutes of stuff to do automagically extends itself to five fucking hours.

I say this because someone I know has an incredible habit of doing that constantly and it makes me want to hurt things, possibly hurt puppies and/or kittens. How many times do you have to do something wrong before you get it through your nimrod skull, nimrod? Develop a sense of time before I pound a fucking Timex into your forehead.

Now, I know that I have no patience for this for two reasons. The first being that I am hyperactive, the second being that I have no patience. That's also what makes me a bad person to show anyone how to do something, since I want to rip their sorry heads off if they don't get it right the first time.

And people always ask me why I didn't become a teacher …

You know, I haven't bitched about women lately. Sure, there's the occasional recognition that I generally do without them, but I think I've let the mysogyny slide over the last few weeks. Don't be fooled, I still loathe that half of the species. I think now that it's mostly because I expect them to know better, as a whole but they don't. I despise men on a casy-by-case basis, since they seem to have so many varied individual problems. You need to know a little about a man to understand why he's a fucking brain-dead drool factory. Women (on the other hand), no matter how well you get to know them, are all stupid in exactly the same way.

No, I don't feel like elaborating any further.

So, I have to go pop my head in at work, then go shopping for stuff for the trip and stuff for Dave's wedding. I also need to pay my bills, get money from the bank (notice how I didn't say cash a paycheck at the bank), pick up my tux and then go to the wedding, in no particular order.

I also finished Cowboy Bebop last night, finally. It was good, should have been much, much longer though.

Well, since this is the last of my vitriol you'll taste (nice metaphor) for at least a week, you'd better enjoy it while you can. I just know this next week will be totally unpleasant for you without me brightening it up.

Whew, it's muggy out there, and I hate having to hand over my wallet to some guy with a snub-nosed pistol every other block.

I actually have a lot to write about, but minimal time to do so. The important news is that the first issue of the magazine is off and at the printers. It'll be in people's hands just before I get back from vacation. A vacation which, I must remind you, features no phones or internet access or even potable water so I wouldn't expect much in the way of updates until I get back, which sucks since I actually looked forward to blogging during my last vacation.

Anyway. I wish I could type for a long time, after all I've got a lot of bitching to do, but I want to get up early to watch the US get pounded by the Germans.

Wednesday, June 19
Okay. So Mac people suck, but at least I have the tools at hand to defeat them.
I worked a veritable lot today, and I still have a bit to do before bed and then I will hop out of bed at 8:00 to say 'thank you sir, may I have another?"

Work was broken up by a few interesting (well, sort of) events.
Firstly, I had some doggy visitors this morning. My old boss stopped by and brought her two dogs with. They are cute and generally very well behaved (unlike some other dogs I know) and it was cool until the little one threw up on my bedroom floor.
After that I took posession of the Neon, which was nice. I really like having a car cd player again. I don't like the incredible amount of noise it makes, however.
And then in the evening we went to the Fond du Lac Association of Commerce's 'Business Connections.' And yes, it really was as exciting as its name implies. The highlight was that Shelly, whom I used to refer to as 'the girl' was there and I got to talk to her most of the time I was there.

I also designed a paid ad for the first time. The company even paid us an extra $50 to do it, so it was almost like I was earning money today. You bet I was excited.

Now, let me address some issues with my site that have come up with other people lately:

Dave: Ryu is an acceptable nickname for me, since I liked Ninja Gaiden a lot, just make sure you pronounce it correctly.

Ron: I always wondered when someone would notice my 'alternate' archives. I still don't know how on earth blogger made that happen, but it's just humorous enough for me to not remove it from the page.

Confidential to Jen: You bet your ass I hate you.

That goes for all the rest of you shiftless cousin fuckers, too.

Tuesday, June 18
You know, I've always liked Macs. I learned the essentials of computers on an Apple IIc, I learned to paginate on an LCIII and my first personal computer was a Performa 6200. That said, Mac people are pissing me off to no end today. As Barren wisely said, Mac people assume everyone else uses Macs.
So we did manage to sell an ad to a prominent Oshkosh employer. That company, instead of sending the ad as an .eps or .tif, as our ad contract calls for, decided to send me the Quark docs plus the media files and fonts on a cd. A mac-formatted cd, even though they knew we worked on PCs.
So I spent an hour this morning trying to find a utility that reads Mac disks. When I finally did, I found out that she had sent a Mac Corel Font, which Windows doesn't recognize. So I called them and asked for them to send me the PC version of the font. So she did, as a Mac self-extracting archive, which Windows doesn't know what to do with. I am ready to hurt someone and/or something, believe you me.

I am looking forward to Dave's wedding and also to my upcoming vacation. I have vowed to not shave from Saturday the 22nd until at least the first day of July. We'll see how that works out for me.

It's my goal to eat all the food left in my house before I leave, which will be nigh impossible without some help. I will try, and anyone who wishes is welcome to help out. I am going to make biscuits and gravy for lunch and then Chili for dinner tomorrow, Roast Beef and mashed potatoes on Wednesday, and then a smattering of hot dogs, hamburgers, grilled tuna sandwiches, macaroni & cheese, french fries and fish sticks when I'm not busy with wedding stuff Thursday and Friday. I have some wine to drink as well, but only the Roast Beef calls for something I have on hand. If you want to bring your appetite over, let me know.

You may have noticed that I haven't written about books much lately, and that's because I didn't like the last one I read and I don't like the one I'm reading. When I dislike a book I read about 5 pages a day. Of course, I'm too stubborn to just stop reading it entirely and move on to another book. I don't think there's any danger of anyone reading any of the books I've been if they also read this site, so I won't bore you with the details.

And the good news: no one has been reading the site lately by searching for the names of anyone I ever dated. That's cool with me.

Monday, June 17
Every once in a while I fall into some kind of black hole of insomnia from which I cannot pull myself. Now I get to spend the rest of the week trying to both get up at a decent hour and fall asleep at a reasonable one. I am, honestly, posting at 5:00 in the a.m. because I am unable to saw the proverbial logs. I hate these times, mostly because I get nervous about missing things I'm supposed to do later in the day, or about being an insufferable crabby person.
And no one wants me to be like that.

Anyway, I didn't want to get too far out of my posting habit, lest you think all the regular treatises here were merely a fluke. For such a boring person, I do find plenty to write about, don't I?

Well, Dave's bachelor party went well, I think. We ate at Grill, then decided to drink for a while at Cattails at the Pioneer. From there we hit a dead-empty Molly's, then P's, and then Liquid. All told I drank three Newcastles, one Slab City, two Bailey's on the rocks, a shot of tequila and a shot of Goldschlager. At that point, I was teetering on the edge of teetotaling, so I refrained from having anymore, lest I prove unable to ensure that Dave and Dave made it home safely. Somehow, everyone else decided that the group needed to head to the Landmark Lounge. I, smartly, declined. Instead I went home to sober up and watch the Senegal-Sweden World Cup match and wait for the drunkards to arrive again so that I could slap them around before taking them home.

They showed up, perhaps an hour or so later, shuddering, partly from the alcohol, but mostly from the frighteningly hideous things that work at Landmark. Dave went home, since he's used to this sort of alcoholism, but Dave stayed back for a bit, as he was far drunker and far less used to it. He did live up to his nickname, which left me needing a new bathroom mat, but if that was the worst casualty, I'm happy.
All this goes to affirm my position on strippers. Although this case is kinda weak. After all, usually the naked ladies are supposed to make the groom dread being tied down to a particular woman. In this case, I don't think he could have been happier to go to the one he has after the horror he seemed to experience that night.

Not much other news. I leave for WV in less than a week. I can hear the banjos already.

Saturday, June 15
So, I cursed myself. Any time I decide there's something I want to wake up early to do, I have immediately decided that I will not fall asleep before 4 a.m.
Anyway, so I slept through a snoozer of a World Cup game, big deal. I will stay up late to watch the U.S.-Mexico game Sunday night, though.

So, I won't be making money anytime soon. It seems there are a lot of people who like to say 'yes, we want to buy something' yet disappear the moment it's time to actually seal the deal. I am disappointed, to be sure. I had hoped to start earning money sometime soon. In reality, I expected that this would be the way the first issue turned out — a money loser — so I'm not devastated or anything, but I had gotten my hopes up.

Anyway, today is Dave's bachelor party, as well as my cousin's baby shower. Tomorrow we begin work on the first issue. I also have the wedding and a vacation coming, so I may well be busy for the forseeable future.

That, and I will probably take possession of the Neon soon. Go me.

Thursday, June 13
I just watched Ghost World, and it was good. For some reason that's exactly the kind of movie that I like. I don't feel so pretentious (at the moment) to talk about what was so cool about it. Most of you would hate it anyway. Not because you're freaks or anything, I only know a few people that have the same taste for the particular kind of weirdness.
Okay, you're still a blathering idiot, but it has nothing to do with whether or not you would have liked it. Honest.

I skipped softball because I had a pounding headache all day. Seems it slipped my mind that I'm a caffeine addict and there was zero caffeine in the house all day. Thank goodness for two-for-one sales on Vanilla Coke at the gas station.

I'm going to try to get up early (6:30 or so) to watch the U.S.-Poland World Cup match. Deep down, I actually like soccer, you know. And everybody hates Poland, right?

Whew. I've been working, actually, lately and let me tell you, I'm not used to it.

So, let me tell you what's going on with me, okay?
I finished my health care story, and it's a monster, coming in at about 100 inches in length (average Northwestern story: 15 inches). And I still have to write the sidebar. I also started laying out the first issue yesterday as well. I actually think the layout itself will be easy, once we know what all the ads will be, but Sean worries about it a lot more than I do.
Speaking of ads, let me tell you (for the millionth time) that I hate trying to sell ads. I hate trying to sell anything. I got a couple to buy small ads, but for the most part I suck at it. And I hate doing anything I'm not good at. Thank Shigeru Miyamoto for having Connie on board selling ads, since if I were the only one doing it we'd be living on rice for the forseeable future.

I have to play softball tonight, which sucks because I suck at it and because there's a lot of work to do. I used to be good at softball, but now not so much.

I've been wathcing all Ben's DVDs of Cowboy Bebop lately, and, yes, I'm addicted.

Something that annoys me that I never seem to remember to bring up: People.
Specifically, people who squeal their tires at the corner of Wisconsin and Murdock, which happens to be about 100 feet from my house. Now that I work at home a lot, I hear, about twice a day, incredibly loud squealing of tires, ostensibly caused by someone making a turn at 40 mph or something, and periodically causing some sort of accident. I don't know why this occurs so frequently at that corner, probably because everyone is a drooling mouth-breather. I'm thinking about getting a rocket launcher of some kind to fire, from my rooftop, at the next violator of common sense at that corner, but the black market for such ordnance is tighter than usual.

The busy time is creeping up on me. It starts Saturday and ends sometime in early July. But, at least I don't have to live at EAA for eight weeks.

Tuesday, June 11
Blogging has become, I think, my hobby. Of course, I don't write one for public consumption. I don't put up a digest of news and links for people to click on. As you well know, this is, more or less, my diary/soapbox. Yes, I have been thinking a lot about it, mainly due to the influx of new ones recently and that I've had several conversations about this site and the blogs of others lately.
I wondered today what someone who never knew me but read this site regularly would think of yours truly. Surely they'd wonder about the odd site name to start off with. But what else? I certainly don't lay out everything about my life and myself here, some things I avoid, while some things seem to get overplayed. I don't know if that's because of what I think most people would find entertaining or if it's things I think about more than I should. I definitely write differently here than most anywhere else. So, in a way, your reading the product of a character created by (and assuredly based upon) myself, but it isn't quite me, is it?
The truly perceptive among you, and I know I've used that exact phrase before, recognize a certain level of exhibitionism in what I do here. And, since I'm rather reserved in person, it does strike me that this all is a conscious construction. So, my friends, and possibly enemies (I know some of you come here too!), know this: I'm in one of those odd introspective moods that tend to mar my usual crabbing.

For some reason I called that girl up that I (sorta) went out with the other week. I think the urge for female companionship is weighing very heavily on me. Of course, the fact is, I've always preferred having female friends (in addition to having the traditional 'girlfriend') and that has been sorely lacking in my world lately as well. I've got Sara (and Sarah-but she's pretty far away), Jana (almost as far away) and the SWEF, who is about as feminine as a rock might be considered 'feminine' and that's about it for me for friends-who-happen-to-not-have-a-dick. Of course, two of the aforementioned ladies are getting married (and thus not easy to get to hang around with) and the other is, well, a stone. I could put Em down here as well, but it's hard to consider someone as a female when she's always threatening to beat you up.
I like having plenty of occasion to bitch about other people in the way girls tend to, you know, the real nasty stuff.
I don't know why I feel the urge to tell you about that, but it's there, so I'm going to run with it.

Business-wise, things are going okay. I am writing very slowly on my last story. I'm not used to this kind of stuff, where it has to be organized and careful instead of unpredictable and harsh.
We do have our contract ad rep working, selling ads and whatnot, so I may have actual cash money at some point within a month. Go me.

I noticed a small outbreak of test-taking lately. The new ones were a little short, poorly written and thus rather predictable in their outcomes. Despite that, I'm getting totally creeped out by Moon, since all his results were the same as mine. I think he's trying to become me.
The one noteworthy result for me was getting Amildala from the "Which Episode II Character Are You" test. Not interesting because of the pick, I'm as feminine as it comes, but rather because of how they put it:
"The one you love could also end up being the one you hate."

Well DUH!

I'm still at a bit of a loss about Dave's bachelor party. I'm just not exciting enough, I guess. But here's the plan so far: play football (tackle, so we can all have casts for the wedding), eat at the Prime Quarter, then drink drink drink.
We're not sure where yet, there's a certain pull to hitting the teenie (errrr, college) bar circuit: it's okay to get loud, stupid and overly trashed, more hott unapproachable girls, etc. Then there's the joints where you can hang, be relatively undisturbed and actually hear each other talk. We might hop between the two, or perhaps some revelation will hit us or something.

Yes, I'm boring.
Fuck off.

Monday, June 10
I must say, the blog list has gotten to be quite a monster. I don't even know what to do with it anymore. I am considering dividing it up into something along the lines of people who update regularly, and those who deserve to die. Or something.

I worked a lot today, but accomplished little. Every time I go to the 'office' I spend a lot of time doing very little, and I don't know why that is. I do have a ton of writing to do, and some meetings tomorrow. That, and its really frickin humid.


Sunday, June 9
So, I did some laundry, ate lunch, did more laundry, went out to jetski, only to be denied again, had beer and brats and played some games, then went home to blog. Another exciting Sunday in the life of yours truly. I was gonna see Sum of All Fears, but for some reason I didn't feel like it. Probably the weight of all the undone work on my shoulders.

I have yet another blog addition. Pyro has finally jumped on the bandwagon. I expect there won't be any more for quite a while, since almost everyone I know has one of their own now.

Little else is newsworthy. I need to get an airconditioner, now that foul humidity has invaded the fair city of Oshvegas. I still hate women. I still need a new car, and I hate you.

Saturday, June 8
So, I edited the links page to your left, adding 4 (four!) new blogs for your voyeuristic pleasure. Actually, it's more to fuel their exhibitionist pleasure, but hey, who said I ever tried to fool anyone? The mass of links necessitated (in my mind, at least) a little more division among sites, so I broke em up into Blog and non-blog sites. I also, for your convenience, made them all open up in new windows. Yes, I'm that concerned about your surfing pleasure that I took that extra step for you. So, now you can peruse the minds of Emily (Auntie), Leslie (Buttercup), Eric/Machine (Irrelevant) and David (Toss). Use their power with care, my friends!

So, in the news realm, we tried going jetskiing yesterday, but B-Diddy's skis were still not in working order, so we didn't. Ate a lovely dinner the the Grill and then went out to the P for the usual Friday night kicks. It's very gorgeous outside right now, so I think I'm gonna go brave the bears and get some errands run. I also have a graduation party to attend and I'm visiting Dave's new digs as well. That and I'm going to work most of Sunday unless some sort of deus ex machina comes and saves me.

Friday, June 7
Oh, and before you go and get the wrong idea about the post below, let me say right now that I don't drink tea or play cribbage.

That and I've got to go shave now, since we're taking mugshots for the magazine this morning. Oh well.

Well, I was totally going to add two more blogs to the pile, but now it turns out that there's another one on the horizon that I will have to link to soon, so I'll hold off and give some people a break from the massive flood of traffic that links from my site generate.

Speaking of traffic, ever since I added the tracking service I've become rather sickeningly obsessive about the details of people visiting my site. Mostly I like to see what time and on what days people take a look, mostly because, as the SWEF puts it, we're obsessive creatures, we humans.
Of course, thanks to the same tracking service, I know that almost every day someone (and it's always different people) gets to this site by searching for my ex- on google and finding this site at or near the top of the list, depending on what keywords they used. So she either has a series of stalkers, or she's seen the site, or some wacky combination. I suspect that she has now been here, since someone in the Va./D.C. area visited twice tonight by searching for her name and that's where she is right now, at some kind of journalism internship. So, now I'm waiting for the inevitable nasty e-mail or confrontation a few months from now about it. That'll be fun!

Anyway, I do have interesting stories to tell as well.

Firstly, I suck at softball.

Secondly, I cleaned out the Tempo this afternoon before it was sent off to the Rawhide Boys Ranch for charitable tax deductions of one kind or another. It was an odd thing, some of the stuff you find under the seats and in the trunk of a 15-year-old car. Some of the interesting things:

1. A stick of Cranberry-flavored Lipsmacker brand lip balm.
2. Numerous pens and pencils and change of all denominations.
3. A receipt for four magic cards bought at Chimera Hobby Shop (undated, but I last remember buying cards there in, what, 1995?)
4. The first "Weird Al" Yankovic album on cassette.
5. An empty pack of Korean cigarettes.
6. A copy of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel from May 12, 2001, containing a story on the infamous forensics suspension.
7. A 1996 Pocket credit union calendar.
8. A handwritten list of duties for the third-shift security sargeant at Oshkosh Truck.
9. And, perhaps my favorite,this.

Now, most of the stuff is only a year or two old, but it was kinda weird, for me at least.

Thirdly, I've been working extra hard lately, and I'm looking forward to the weekend, even though I have minimal plans. One of my stories is turning into a rather large beast that I'm having trouble keeping under control.

I'm also growing a beard. Of course, the moment I have a meeting with a potential client, I have to shave it off, but I've managed to go all week without having to. If I can make it through the weekend, I might be allowed to keep it! If I make it to Saturday, I'll post a picture, yo.

I've been extra lazy about planning Mr. Ruby's bachelor party. Let me make it abundantly clear right now, I am the worst person, ever, for planning any kind of wild anything, since I am the biggest square I know outside of the SWEF herself. If I have my way we'll end up drinking tea and playing cribbage all night. When we were discussing possibilites between some friends this weekend, I suggested we go out and make it really memorable by doing some charity work. You know, volunteer at the Seniors Center or something. Now that's a bachelor party to remember! At least everyone would talk about it, sort of.

Oh, and before I forget, Mega Man 2 has the best video game music, ever. Yes, I really thought about that today. Too bad the damn game is only slightly younger than my old car. Suck it.

Thursday, June 6
From now on I'm typing all my posts in Word or something and then copying them here, since I just lost another (excellent, if I may say so) post to Blogger's vortex.

And people wonder why I hate so much.

Wednesday, June 5
Yeah, it's times like this that I wish I'd run off and joined the circus.

Nothing new or interesting, really. Just work and work and a little relaxing on the side.

I didn't get my newspaper this morning, and I can't do anything about it because I'm not supposed to be getting the paper, dammit, and while that certainly does fuel a little crabbiness on my part its nothing really worth getting off on a rant about. Really.

Well, that said I do have a lot of work to do. So have a good time there, kiddies. And stay out of trouble, for chrissakes, so I don't have to come over there and redden your heinie, and I don't mean the beer!

Sunday, June 2
So I missed a day. Blah.

I actually had a very full day Saturday, which is why I didn't update, I was too busy having fun.

Barren and I were supposed to go to G.B. to look at cars, but since the weather was so nice we decided to go jetskiing instead. Unfortunately, they both (the jetskis) were all brokey and so we instead took them to the shop. After that we bummed most of the day away, since the dealership we wanted to go to closed at 3 that day.
We did look at cars on Friday as well (yes, I like going backwards in time) and I found one car that I wanted to buy and one car that I really really really really wanted to buy so badly that I considered selling drugs or stealing so that I could have it. Fortunately, we were just poking around the closed dealership, so I couldn't have bought it anyway. That car, a black 2000 Corolla, was just $10k, which was waaay cheaper that I thought I could find such a car. Too bad I have no money.

Sticking with Friday night, I went out with some chick who I swear wanted to get on me fairly badly, since she was all touchy feely all the time and actually called me to go out. We went out to Mabel Murphy's and it was so incredibly boring that I couldn't even explain it here because Blogger's servers would fall asleep processing the post and then everybody would be all pissed at me. Yeah, I'm fucking serious.

Anyway, leaping forward again in time, on Saturday evening I got to hang with the lovely Sara and Sarah again. We potted plants and I made them dinner and then we gabbed a lot. It was very cool, and I kinda sorta charged Sara with finding me a g.f. because I seem to be quite lousy at it. She suggested something that sounded like maybe I should try to find a nice girl, but she may have been speaking in tongues, because I didn't really understand it myself.
She also mentioned that if you search for an certain evil, evil girl's name (not the SWEF, as I've tested that regularly and this page doesn't show up at all) that this page is displayed realtively prominently in the list. I think I'm going to take pride in that, especially since I've used her full name twice, ever, and one time was a long, long time ago.

It makes me want to set up webtracker stuff, since other people seem to find interesting tidbits about the subhuman freaks that browse their sites that way, and I mostly just guess.