Why Plinko hates you.

the life and times of one jaded motherfucker.

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Uncle Phil

:.News of the World.:
Washington Post
NY Times
Howard Kurtz
Leonard Pitts
The Onion

:.On Wisconsin.:
Milwaukee J-S
Wheeler Report
Gannett Wisconsin

Penny Arcade


:.Current Book.:
Woman In the Dark - Dashiell Hammett

:.Last 6 Books.:
The Catcher In the Rye - JD Salinger
Grendel - John Gardner
Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha - Roddy Doyle
The Road - Cormac McCarthy
Theft - Peter Carey
Saturday - Ian McEwan

:. Bands .:
Dismemberment Plan
Jets to Brazil
Promise Ring

Mark Helprin
Kazuo Ishiguro
Wilkie Collins
William Faulkner
Philip K. Dick
Dashiell Hammett

The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkien
Frank Herbert
Dan Simmons
The Dark Tower
Stephen King

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Saturday, March 30
Just when you thought I'd stop posting again!

Anyway, I actually have a lot of stories to tell, but I have told several of them to some people already, so they sorta lose some luster, you know?

Firstly, I think the my PC's motherboard is broken, or at least the secondary IDE controller is. See, I installed my new drives, which showed up on Thursday (!) after ordering them at 4 a.m. on Tuesday (Now that's service), but I'm still having the same problems I was before. That leads me to belive that something else is wrong with the PC, which doesn't make me happy.

Now for the interesting stories to tell, all of which fit into my new mysogyny lifestyle that I've chosen.

So Wednesday, after forensics practice was over, I went to see the SWEF to chat. I didn't have much to say, but she told me all about how she went out on a date with some guy that she actually liked (this is the first time I've heard of her actually liking a male human) and then how she proceeded to screw it up by drinking too much and acting like a snotty bitch. She is now incredibly upset because this guy doesn't seem to really want to talk to her, he basically ditched her while she was using the restroom, and then blew her off when she called him a few days later. Now, I have trouble, because for all the denigrating I do to the SWEF, she is my good friend and I don't like seeing her upset, but at the same time I am relishing seeing her get the cold shoulder for a change. After all, this is the woman that blows off maybe five or six guys a month and its just to precious to see her see what its like once. Whats priceless was that I swear she was going to cry about it, like a week after it happened! We all love people that can dish it out but can't take it, don't we?

Then on Thursday night, my pal Dave was in town from Madison, so we went out to Pea's with Dave and his fiancee. For the slow ones that means that it was me, Dave, Dave, and Gina. Somehow, this never confuses anyone that's been friends with Dave and Dave. Apparently there's some subsonic signal that indicates which Dave anyone is talking about or to at any given moment. But anyway, not long after I get there, but who should come to talk to me on her way out? My ex-girlfriend's distincly not-yet-21 sister Carla. Now, Carla is totally hott. Maybe even hotter than her sister, for whom I am stil probably a little stupid. So she runs up to me and hugs me and talks to me for a bit, and all the while I'm chiding her for being in a bar at her age and she's telling me all about Christine (her sister) and how I should call her or something and how she's doing and whatnot. Then, she leaves, without me having to turn her in to Craig. Weird.

What's weirder is that on Friday night, I go out, per usual, to Pea's with my co-workers and to hang with Atom and Peter and Emily, etc. So after a couple of hours, I'm sittin in a booth talking to A-Lo when who should come over to check on me? My ex. The same one whom I told I didn't want to talk to ever again, the same one who I told all her friends that I was pissed off when she showed up unnanounced at a forensics function in December. So ick. So she chided me for working at a crappy paper and generally denigrated my columns, some of which suck, I admit, but many are very good, and then telling basically that she's busy, blah and then she goes. The worst part of it all is that somehow, in a crowd of twenty or so people, only I and A-Lo actually saw her, which ticked me off because everyone there, either from this site or just in my day-to-day talking vitriol, knew who she is and I wanted them all to be able to put a face to the name. And that was tossed out the window. But A-Lo did grace me by saying he could see that she was pretty, and pretty bitchy, too. Sigh.

You know, nothing really rubs it in that you're involuntarily single like seeing some hott girl, who dumped your sorry ass, at a bar and then have her semi-subtly rub it in that you're a loser and she is not.
That reminded me exactly why I've chosen a life of mysogyny. You see, women (generally) are stupid, just as men are. But women get most things greased for them. Christine is smart and a good journalist — for a college student — but she's neither smarter nor a better writer nor easier to get along with than I am. However, since she is pretty and most men within a four block radius will fall all over themselves to do whatever she wants, she will get a nice job right out of college, probably much better than the one I have now, and since she is ambitious and pretty, will likely climb the ladder faster than I can say 'sour grapes.' Despite, this, she sees fit to treat everyone around her like dirt and yet is somehow slavishly devoted to a loser guy who makes me seem like a rising star.
Or take the SWEF, who is pretty as well, only in a much different way. She bitches non-stop about her inability to find a decent man, despite the fact that she hates physical contact with people yet still has men hounding her for dates all the time. Even more annoying, she has to tell me all about it, and won't cease telling me how much alike we are and how I understand her blah blah blah. Naturally, this didn't matter one bit when I wanted to go out with her.
Or take the intern who sits next to me sometime, she is also totally hott, but a complete airhead. She could be the single most useless slug of a person I have ever been around, she can barely breathe much less work a computer or edit copy. But somehow, for two reasons planted firmly inside her very-large brassiere, she continues to work at the paper, and is even thought of by the (mostly-male) management as an asset to the company.

Women, an by this I mean women, make overwhelmingly terrible choices in their lives, but get away with it because someone's always there to make sure they don't totally fail. They get more second and third chances than most of us get first chances, well, at least the good-looking ones do …
That, in essence, is why I get so surly about them all the time. Fortunately for me, few if any, read this, so I can complain without repercussion. Emily might kick my ass or something.

Tuesday, March 26
Yeah yeah, it took me a while to put the dishes away, okay?

Now, on to the evil in my soul:
Its evil alright.

I ordered a new CD burner and a DVD-ROM for my PC tonight from Provantage. Last time I ordered from them they messed everything up, so we'll se how they do this time. I also priced out an Alienware system, but only for giggles because I've put too much money into my current monstrosity lately to buy a whole new system. Plus there's the fact that I can't afford one of their machines.

I am supposed to be working on my column for Wednesday, which is about the (yawn) Hewlett-Packard/Compaq merger. Now you know why I'm updating this site rather than working on my column. I seem to have already blown the proverbial load when it comes to news, since I'm already tapped for subject matter. But I'm sure you'll understand, since I've posted more over the last three or four days that I have over the month preceding these few days (or at least it seems that way).

Saturday, March 23
In order to try to get back into the habit of regular posting, here's a post less than 24 hours after the last one.
I rule.

Anyway, today seems to be a cleaning and housework day. I've been letting the house get to be a total hole lately and that's not the way I like things. So I'm doing dishes and trying to find a place for some of the piles of crap that cover every flat surface in the place. I am also (finally) trying out the breadmaker today.
I need an apron.

I started a second DAoC character. So, keep the prayers for my soul going, I think I'm slipping farther down into oblivion all the time.

I ran the mysogyny thing past Em last night and she didn't kick my ass, so I'm gonna stick with it for a bit.

If this seems like a wussy girly post without the required levels of hate, I'm sorry, but I will burn your soul with a glimpse of my black rotten heart sometime after the dishes are put away.

Friday, March 22
Thanks to Pyro for doing his best to ensure there need be no repeat of last time's headline at the top of this Plinko-post. To be honest, I have little in the way of actual news, just a seemingly never-ending march of things that annoy me.

Letsee, since the last time I updated …
I installed Windows XP and promptly wished that I had chosen Windows 2000 instead.
I broke the following parts of my computer: Mouse, CD drive, CD burner.
Bought a new mouse.
Did massive amounts of laundry.

And thats about it.

For those of you who crave continuity, installing XP did fix all my crashing issues, but I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that simply reinstalling ME would have done the same thing. And I think XP more or less looks like ass, which I hope to rectify (does that qualify as a pun?) by running litestep at some point in the future.

I have yet to receive a call from EAA, so I apparently suck rhino testicles at applying for jobs at that place. Not to be discouraged, my brother is trying to get me a job at 4imprint and there is a secret job that I will definitely take if neither EAA nor 4imprint pan out in time.

The truly long-time readers of 'Why Plinko Hates You' will remember that at some point a few months ago I flirted with becoming a mysoginist. I think I'm swinging back that way again. Now, it's not that I'm a chauvanist, since I also despise men. It's just that I find women in general stupid and annoying for their own, special reasons.

I (don't) love you.

Tuesday, March 12
Holy fucking shit I can't believe it's been eleven days since the last time I updated this page! And I damn well am not letting Atom out post me, content-wise, even if I do have to leave for work in the very near future.

I've been off of forensics for the last week, following the cancellation of the last tournament of the regular season due to a snowstorm. We're getting back underway again today to prepare for Thursday's District-level competition.

Now in my downtime I've had basically three occupations: work, leveling my DAoC character to match the rest of Ava Tarati, and bitching about work. For once, I've not been bitching about work here. Unfortunately for all of you, I also didn't bitch about anything here during that time. I'm sorry to make your life that much more meaningless by not giving you your regular thrill of living vicariously through the joyous county fair that is Plinko's existence. I was feeling lazy.

Still waiting to hear from EAA, I'm guessing that the call, should one be coming, would come tomorrow, so I'm not too worried. Not too worried …

Last Saturday I volunteered at the Oshkosh Chamber of Commerce Junior Achievement's Business Bowl 2002. That involved spending my morning advising two kids on how to play a marketing simulation game against teams of other high-school students advised by other people who didn't want to be up that early. Well, being the marketing genius that I am, my team won, earning each of my kids a one-time scholarship of $500. Now if anything could undermine the credibility of a game, it would be having the team coached by the newspaper writer/designer/editor win over a bunch of business weenies from around town.
For my trouble I got a box of golf balls (don't golf) a golf towel (still don't golf) and two comp tickets to an Oshkosh Symphony Orchestra Concert (during the next Big Crap Shoot) so anyone who says I was in it for the loot (last year's winner got a TV …) is totally wrong, as I am actually in it for the glory.

I got an e-mail today that said: "You are worth exactly: $2,437,400.00." Which means A-Lo can suck it. And I bet all y'all can suck it too, but so far only he's checked that I know of.

My PC has been total ass lately. It likes to crash while loading IE. ICQ has been spotty at best; HL throws in a few crashes for good measure as well. That means its time to archive the gigs of pr0n and mp3s and finally install that copy of XP that's been sitting on my desk since early January. I need to get some software from B-Diddy first, but I'll message him about that soon. It's really nothing for you all to worry about.

Friday, March 1
I think this has officially been the grumpiest week of my quarter-century on this earth. If I were to make a list of people whose necks I would like to wring right now. . . that would be one long list of neck-wringing, believe you me.

I actually have very little of interest to report. After all, I'm sure there's only so much, you can really stomach when it comes to Plinko bitching and whining about his stress levels or how he doesn't even have the time to notice if his fucking shoelaces are untied or to notice if the sun has been secretly replaced with Folger's crystals.

I completed and returned the tests sent to me by EAA for that job I applied for. A job which, even it was comprised solely of spending all day staring at Barren's ass, would constitute a heaven on earth proposition provided it doesn't involve working every Friday and Saturday night until the end of time.

In other news, I hunger, but that doesn't at all relate to how much I loathe each and every one of you, so I shall refrain from elaboration.