Why Plinko hates you.

the life and times of one jaded motherfucker.

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Uncle Phil

:.News of the World.:
Washington Post
NY Times
Howard Kurtz
Leonard Pitts
The Onion

:.On Wisconsin.:
Milwaukee J-S
Wheeler Report
Gannett Wisconsin

Penny Arcade


:.Current Book.:
Woman In the Dark - Dashiell Hammett

:.Last 6 Books.:
The Catcher In the Rye - JD Salinger
Grendel - John Gardner
Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha - Roddy Doyle
The Road - Cormac McCarthy
Theft - Peter Carey
Saturday - Ian McEwan

:. Bands .:
Dismemberment Plan
Jets to Brazil
Promise Ring

Mark Helprin
Kazuo Ishiguro
Wilkie Collins
William Faulkner
Philip K. Dick
Dashiell Hammett

The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkien
Frank Herbert
Dan Simmons
The Dark Tower
Stephen King

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Wednesday, August 29
Did I ever say that I hated you stupid fucks?
Okay, just checking.

So, sleep is my new enemy. If I could get my hands on the mythical Sandman, I'd grab that fairy by the throat and pound some respect into his pixie-dust-spreading mug.
I feel like I did in college, when I was always tired and could never fall asleep. I spend all day sleepy right about till I can go to bed, at which time I get fairly hyper. Joy.

Anyway. I realized today that even though the season doesn't start until February, I have to really get going on the West forensics program. I met my assistant yesterday and had several meetings with various members of the administration and staff. The good news is, I'm told that a mutually-satisfactory resolution will be reached by the end of September regarding our season. Since only full reinstatement would be at all satisfactory on our side, I can only assume that that's what we're looking at, or something very close to it.

Since I'm always looking to expand your sorry horizons, I thought I'd post a link to this Washington Post article. Basically, it's about two people who run a few small specialty magazines, vampires and sci-fi stuff, which I know interests many of you. I just thought it was neat how they started making money doing things many of us know we could do if we really wanted to.

Sunday, August 26
Sunday sunday sunday.

I saw 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.' It was frickin hilarious. The movie itself was okay, it didn't get me hott or anything, but I couldn't stop laughing. After that I went to the park and had a cookout with some friends from work, which was also a good time. So, in conclusion Sunday was a good day and the capital of Nebraska is Lincoln.

I saw a commercial for an upcoming new show on Cartoon Network. It will be called 'The Brak Show.' This means that if you get between me and that show, I will pound you.
Someone told me they like my new haircut . *swoons*

I added a new title, since I found just plain ol' 'Plinko' boring. This one is so much more descriptive.

Yes, it's true, I do hate you.

Saturday, August 25
Things to bitch about: It's rainy, I'm at work with little to do (hence the blogging), my car started pumping exhaust through the ventilation system today, and our IT department is dumb.

Let me explain that last bit. Apparently the server which houses all our photos and ads was fried during a power outage in Fond du Lac early Friday morning. The part about that which is forehead-poundingly dumb is that there was no UPS on the servers which hold most of our important stuff, and when the power came back up, the booted the server only to discover that the both hard drives on the RAID array were damaged, and it turns out that the backup system hadn't been functioning for over a month. So, what do we have an IT department for, anyway? Sigh. That made Friday a real crowd-pleaser at work. The tiny little upside for me is that when the photos were lost, I was saved several hours of having to archive the pages that those pictures went with, thank God.

In other news, I, like so many of you, am pinning all my hopes for the future on the 1-8 million chance that I could win tonight's Powerball drawing (I bought 10 tickets, so my odds are much better, duh!). So, once I'm wildly rich, you'll be sorry you weren't nicer to me.

Thursday, August 23
So, I got another haircut. Other than that, my life continues to march on at it's ever-exciting pace. I am looking forward to taking care of Ben's stupid dogs this weekend, and yes, they are stupid, and no, there aren't any smart ones.
Work has been rough, along with having to act like a regular copy-desk employee comes the wonderful thing we call unpaid overtime. Which, I'm sure many of you have to deal with, too, but most of you aren't hourly, either. Heck, I bet most of you aren't even hungry now. Whoo, I am.

Sunday, August 19
Okay, I'm not going to let a whole week pass without a post, so here ya go.

I went jet skiing today for the first time, it was fun, but a little noisy. I got used to it though. Really, there isn't much else to say. The whole forensics thing is more or less finalized, I just need the official 'okay' from the bosses. Still no word on the job. Apparently they're in no hurry to hire someone (memememememe) to take Jessie's job, which I can understand since I'm going to be doing it for considerably less while they dally around, but I tell you it doesn't make me happy. Ah well, two of the other people who do that job are putting their portfolios together so they can leave, plus a third one is close to retirement. That would leave just the supervisor and me, the clerk, on the copy desk at work, and I bet within a year that's all that's left of the crew from a month ago.

In other news, meh. I really don't have any. So there.

Tuesday, August 14
I got a bunch of materials for orienation at the school district, which I find odd since I don't really work there. But that has prompted me to get my butt going on working out the final few details before it all becomes official. What most people don't realize is how big a task it will be to balance this with my 'real' job. Even beyond the obvious scheduling conflict, there's apparently all sorts of ethical conflicts that need to be ironed out. Many of them I can understand, but I think some of it is alittle much.

That and I need a haricut already. I think I've been letting it grow too long, so next week sometime I'm going to go much shorter.

Yes, that is relatively important to me.

Tomorrow is Jessie's last day, so we're having lunch at Lara's before work. Ack. I just got over food poisoning.

Monday, August 13
MMMmmm . . . repositories. . .

Apparently I'm not happy enough for all y'all. I don't know why that surprises anyone since I am the crabbiest person I know. It just seems logical that my site would be the least happy of anyone's!

Well, letsee. We had a party for Zebby yesterday, it was fun and I even didn't whine a whole lot (compared to usual) about not bowling well (in the first game, I got one of the highest scores my second game, which shows how bad we all are). I did get sick from my undercooked steak, though, apparently Outback Steakhouse doesn't hire cooks that know how to do a thick steak medium-rare. As for lasertag, I whined like a mofo, but that's because I hate kids, especially at lasertag. I don't take responsibility for wanting to rip their throats out.

I got my car back. It has been diagnosed with a fairly serious oil leak (that caused it to run completely out of oil in less than four months and 1500 miles, even with me adding four quarts in that time period). This means that I have to buy another car soon. As soon as I know about my job, I will start the search, and I hope to know soon. Even if for some ungodly reason I don't get Jessie's job, I'll have to get a second job to pay for it and take up some of the spare time I have in which I mostly sit at the computer and grumble to you mindless whoring ingrates anyway. Did I mention that I love you all?

I found some funny stuff that most of you will enjoy, which is something I could do more of, but I don't because generally I'm too lazy to copy down the link and remember it the next time I post. First a repository of Evil Dead .wavs. Second a repository of odd/silly/scary quotations in video games. I know you'll spend a lot of time going through it. So thank me! I'm not adding it to the recommended links, though, so visit now and boookmark the freakin page before I come over there.

Friday, August 10
Okay, so I haven't updated. Blogger pissed me off because it lost my last post about five days ago so I refused to come back while I cooled off lest I do something I would later regret to it.

That said, you haven't missed much, just me being grumpy for the most part. I still don't know about my car (my mechanic broke his arm, so the shop is getting through their backlog rather slowly), which is sort of a large potential expense to have hanging over your head. To go with that, I still have no clue about my job, which doesn't relax me at all, in case you haven't noticed.

Other than that life is generaly boring. I've been reading and surfing with a little 'gamming' in between. My tax rebate comes next week, but that needs to be saved for potential car-expenses.

In sad news, Little Zebby is leaving us soon. this sucks because he is just starting to close in on being able to do more with us (you know, like maybe drive and whatnot). The short-term good news is that we will have a party for him Sunday, with party hats and a party cake and you can't come becuase you're punk and punks don't go to parties.

I've started reconsidering staying in Oshkosh, mainly I'm thinking of restarting the job search. I think my current job is stressing me out too much, I get crabby and grumpy all the time and nobody likes that, do they? If I were smart ( and all signs point to 'no') I'd move back into my parents home and go back to school for something useful (like computers or enineering -since that's what I originally went to college for) while continuing to work for the Nowhere. Of course, I won't do that, I will just remain poor forever and hope to marry the daughter of some rich guy someday. I call that ambition.

Thursday, August 2
While I normally leave several days between posts, I don't like to leave such a negative one hanging by itself for too long. So, since today was much, much better than yesterday, I will brighten your lives with my tales of Plinko.

Actually, I didn't do much interesting today. I talked on the phone with a friend for two hours this morning. We argued (in jest, mostly) about who was more of a 'square' between the two of us. I think I won (by being less 'square'). It was fun, this is a person to whom I normally listen to gossip from, but this time I had my own soap-opera to talk about. That was cool.

Then, I went to work and did just fine. I shouldn't be hoping about this, because I'm tired of being disappointed, but someone who does my job, but actually holds the title and gets paid for it quit today, so I can hope and pray that they will offer me my rightful pay and whatnot. Of course, if they don't I will be extremely upset, so we all know what the real results will be.

You may or may not have noticed that the new archive link to your left. I successfully made an archive page via MS Frontpage. It took me all of 3 minutes and is purely text-based, so it's much less pretty than even this boring site. But, if you get the itch to read the last six months worth of posts that you can't see here, go ahead, knock yourself out.

In totally inane news, I can't stop listening to the 80s new wave hit "In a Big Country" by (d'uh!) Big Country. It's been in my head all day. Good song.

Wednesday, August 1
Warning: I am in an extremely bad mood. The following post will reflect this. If you want positive thoughts, please go elsewhere. If you don't want to read my emotional rantings and ravings, please skip this post entirely. If you're a glutton for punishment, read on, loser.

So, today could have been very different. I planned on going up to Appleton to go shopping (see previous post), but I wasn't sure if I would have time. I decided that I did, and had I stayed home everything would have been just dandy.

So, I drove to Appleton, and it was frickin hot. I have no A/C in my car, and I forgot to put oil in it before I left (foreshadowing). I went to B&N and bought three books, which was alright. The thing is, I hate shopping alone. I'm chatty, and I like to have someone to talk to while I shop, but there was no one to go with because normal people work during the day. Did I mention that I wasn't paying attention and missed the turn for B&N? Oh, I did and that put me in a bad mood, too.

After B&N I drove to the mall. I got a very bad feeling about the mall. Really, I feared it because most of my memories of shopping at the mall are memories of being there with my ex-. I felt afraid I was going to run into her (unlikely since she's thankfully out of state for the summer). So, knowing that was unrealistic I dreaded running into someone I would associate strongly with her, like her old roommate, whom I kinda have/had a thing for, but has a boyfriend whom I think is cool), or her best friend, whom I also like (not that way, though) yet encouraged my ex to break up with me, which was probably a good thing, but I sure didn't think so at the time. Once I started shopping, I felt a little better. I had done a decent job of saving money, so I felt like I could spend some on some clothes, since I hadn't bought any since December.

So, I went into the Gap and looked around. I found some nice stuff, some of which I could afford. As I was picking out some khakis, someone came up to me and said 'HI Ryan!!"

I looked up, and there was Sarah Z, my ex's roommate. I said hi and how suprised I was to see her. I kept rummaging through the pants, because I wanted to talk to her, but I felt very uncomfortable. Then. Sara VG came over, my ex's best-friend. At this moment, I'm torn, because I like both of these people, I haven't seen them in a long time, but I know that they will want to talk about my ex, which I don't want to do. Not because I want my ex back, but because I don't like being reminded so strongly that I don't have a girlfriend, or how much fun I had when I did (since I spent a lot of time with these two when I was with my ex) After a few minutes, they convinced me to shop with them. I hate shopping alone.

So, they helped me pick some stuff out, just work stuff, but I spent way more than I meant to, naturally. And of course, they bitched about my ex. Apparently she's been in a serious 'me' phase ever since we broke up. Even better, they both told me that they wished (now) that we hadn't broken up, that they missed me and hated her new boyfriend with a passion. I quote Sara: "I had known that this was how it was going to turn out, I would have told her to stay with you." Thanks, it took me months to feel better about myself, I'm glad you're sorry now about having encouraged it!

That wasn't as bad as I probably just made it sound. At that moment, I wanted to slug her, though.

What really upset me was how different I was with them. I was enjoying myself. I was joking around, I was talkative, we looked at clothes and I could actually talk about them, making fun of some of crazy things stores sell. It remided me of how different I am now. I'm quieter, more serious. I think I'm crankier. But for a few hours this afternoon I was silly and spontaneous and I was really happy and I didn't care about anything, just because I was comfortable. I don't feel like that often, but I used to feel that way, comfortable, all the time. I don't relax much anymore, I'm always edgy, always touchy, always reserved.

It's easy to blame it on Christine, real easy. My life changed a lot then, mostly because it took me by such total suprise. In know, though, that it has more to do with me than her. But spending time with Sara and Sarah (yes, that's their real names) reminded me that that part of me was still there. It made me feel odd, like I missed me. I didn't miss my ex, but I missed how I was when we were together. Somehow, I can't connect that old me to the new me very easily. That's the problem I can't solve.

So, anyway, I actually had a good time with Sara and Sarah (she still has the boyfriend -dang!). But my wonderful day was far from over.

On the way home, my car started stalling every time I stopped. Not good. I managed to baby it home, where I added some oil. I went inside and changed clothes for work and resolved to have the car taken in while I was at work. The car started fine and sounded fine, so I hoped that the damage wasn't too bad. I did notice that the oil leak was getting bad and it appeared that the engine was burning oil. But, I went to work anyway. Six more miles couldn't be that bad. But, it started stalling and I kept babying it. Finally, about 10 blocks from work, the car died. Dead. No starting for me. So, I got out of the car (it was 94 degrees out with a Heat Index of 106) and walked to work.

I arrived, sweating profusely. I have a dress code at work, so I was wearing pants and a polo, not the coolest summer clothes I had. I called my mechanic, and he was on vacation. So are my parents. So I had to call a wrecker and have it towed to the empty mechanic's shop. I had to call my brother and get the keys for my mom's car, so I had a means of getting around whilst my car lay dead. Meanwhile, all I can think about is how I can't afford to have it fixed, how I can't afford to get another car, and about how I just spent $175 on clothes that I was probably going to want back very soon. I was hot, sweaty and tired, all that on top of the serious introspection I had been working on all day. Then I had to work.

Good news: (yes there is some!)

There's an off chance I will continue to hang out with S & S (without you-know-who).
I bought some decent clothes, so I have something new for a change.
I'm driving my mom's car all week, which has A/C.
I set up my RR web page. I am going to upload the invisible archives to this site when I'm done with this post, so if a new link appears to your left, check it out.
The internet job remains unfilled at work, there may be snags with the 'other' guy, so that may turn around soon.
Tomorrow could not possibly be worse.
Yes, I enjoy tempting fate.

I know that this isn't what you normally see here. But, it's how my day went. I guess I do this page more for me than for anyone else, anyway. This is how I feel today, this is what you get. You love me anyway,

Don't you?